I hate feeling stupid

I hate feeling stupid so much. I was a gifted kid and I’ve never actually had a burnout before (even now still).

This is my first quarter through my transfer degree and I’m living in a dorm as a junior so this is all new to me. I’m also a year younger than the freshman here so it’s made me have to work harder in social situations.

The main issue here is I expect myself to not do as well this quarter because I’m adjusting and not used to everything all at once, but I’m doing absolutely horrible grade wise. And it’s not burn out either, I have a seriously upsetting disconnect with both of my classes and I’m missing the basic stuff and only know the complicated stuff so I’m losing points easily. I also have pretty bad test anxiety so that doesn’t help either.

I’ve done everything I can, working with disability to get accommodations and taking tests in a room, tutoring center (they won’t respond when I need help), and even looking online doesn’t help anymore because of the level of math I’m taking.

I feel so stupid because I failed my midterm for one class and now I’m failing horribly, and my other class Im just passing at a C. It may seem stupid but this is my worst nightmare. I know I have to actually study more and learn those concepts but ugh it goes so fast and I can’t catch up. I wish there was a week of break so I could just study the whole time to catch up.

It sucks because the help i need is just asking simple questions, but I don’t know where to go where I won’t feel stupid. I’m asking a friend in the class if she will tutor me (I’ll pay ofc) but idk if she will be able to.

Im just having a hard time and it feels like I have to compromise my mental health to pass. I’m going to pass though, it’s more important to me to get these classes over with than my mental health is for a month. Which just shows how bad the education system is.