why can’t i get over him?

it’s been a long time. months. and i can’t get over my fp. he doesn’t want me anymore. he never really did. he told me he wished he never met me. we haven’t spoken in so long. yet every single day i cry over him and pray to god that he’ll come back to me. i feel like less than nothing without him. i miss him so much, i need him. i can’t take it anymore i really can’t. i feel like i’m going insane. i just want him back. he was abusive. he abused me so badly physically, mentally, all of it and i still miss him. i still want him. why? why can’t i move on?