Haiyaaaa why am I that shy

So… I am a very very shy girl My school is famous for their music arts program. Like they can have music lesson everyday and a lot of chances to perform.

However , as I moved to that school too late (grade11), I have missed the chance to join that program. Luckily, I could also join the strings ensemble. (FYI: the strings ensemble includes the member from that program and other few music students)

Then, today was a performance day. When we were preparing before the performance, everyone was playing or chatting with each other, like they were classmates and have lesson everyday while I don’t know why I felt that I was left out. Like I don’t know them well and maybe is because of my RBF and always act so aloof. Actually, I didn’t mean to be that aloof. Like idk why every time I meet someone, I always end the topic so easily or can’t show I am actually happy to talk with them. I know that’s my problem like I am too shy and too passive that I seldom talk with other musicians there. Yet, when I tried to start a conversation with someone, it ended so awkwardly. Furthermore, I am a new student to that school and like everyone know others so well while they might have known each other in elementary school. Also, I don’t know why I am always that awkward. Ok, I know these trash passage has no meaning and that’s just me talking about myself being socially awkward And thanks for those who read the whole post ε-(´∀｀; )