Is this dysphoria or something else?

I'm pretty confused at the moment and I'm really not sure who to turn to. I don't have any trans/non-binary friends that I could ask this question to and of course the best person to go to would be a therapist but funds are tight right now... so what's up, Reddit?

I am AFAB and identify as a girl but even as a kid, the idea of being a woman was not something I wanted. It's weird to explain. I remember telling my mother "I don't want to be a woman" and she said "well then what do you want to be?" I remember shrugging because I had no idea there was another option; just the concept of womanhood felt wrong to me. However, I never had the stereotypical thoughts of "I want to be a boy" that I have read so many transmen have as children. I remember being excited for puberty until it actually happened to me, at which point I could not look at myself naked in a mirror again until I was in my late 20s. As a teen, I felt embarrassed by having a period and refused to acknowledge it at all. I'm not bothered that I have amenorrhea and really don't want to do anything about it, even though my doctors keep pushing for me to go see a specialist. Going to the gyno makes me very uncomfortable beyond the standard reasons - like the acknowledgement that I have a vagina, am surrounded by pictures of mothers holding babies, and am being treated like a woman is very uncomfortable. Again, I really don't know how to explain this beyond intrinsic feelings in my core when I am in situations where it is acknowledged that I am a woman. But having a vagina bothers me less than having breasts, which I will explain below:

I have been talking about a reduction since I was 11 years old. The concept of bra shopping was fun until I was actually doing it and then I was like "Mom, when I am old enough I want a reduction." She would always say "yes, when you are done with puberty you can do whatever you want." I actually used to fantasize about just cutting them off. I had to go to a doctor once when I was about 15 or 16 who specialized in breast cancer because I had some weird lumps forming. I told them "Yeah I would like a mastectomy one day." They corrected me and said "No, you mean a reduction" and I guess I felt kinda felt put in my place so I said "Oh I guess you're right" but really, if I had known about surgery options back then I would have been able to defend myself and say "no, I want more than a reduction." I love the way I look when I wear a compression sports bra. My mother was so upset that I wore one on my HS graduation day but the idea of people seeing I had ^^^boobs was horrifying to me, even if I was wearing a dress and had make up on etc. It is that one difference that really mattered to me.

BUT I am fine wearing "girl" clothes, high heels, makeup etc. I feel like if it was real dysphoria, I wouldn't be okay wearing a dress but sometimes I am okay with it. I have long hair and prefer it that way. I feel like once I get the surgery I want, I'm not going to start wearing "male-typical" clothing. I feel like having breasts has held me back from the clothes I do want to wear, which are stereotypically feminine. I have spoken to plastic surgeons who have told me that they have had many female patients (no dysphoria) who also requested flat chests. So either they also have latent dysphoria or you can want a flat chest, hate the look of breasts, and still be cis. However, it often feels like I am wearing a body suit that I can't take off and that's what's really causing me to struggle. Like the image I have of me in my head (more androgynous) does not match what I see in the mirror (34D and very womanly). I am often very aware of my chest and sometimes wearing any of my clothes at all makes me feel very uncomfortable because all I see is woman woman woman boobs boobs boobs. I really don't know. I just want surgery but I don't want to waste a GALAP approved therapist's time asking for a letter if it's not really dysphoria. At the very least, it felt good getting some of this out.