Something grotesque and cumbersome

I took a pencil and held it in my hand, and i took the pencil and put it in my mouth. I don't merely gnaw on the pencil. I take the pencil and I snap it in two. I put the pieces in my mouth and I chew on them voraciously. At first there's little give to them, but as the toothmarks slowly deepen and the wood begins to saturate with saliva, finally some progress is made. I feel the cold mineral core of the pencil at long last against against my tongue.

My tongue and my gums are bleeding. All I can taste is blood and the smallest tinge of woodiness. The pencil is just paste now. I spit out the eraser and put it in the box with the others. I swallow the pencil and it tears down my esophagus, tiny splinters all the way down. I am accomplished.

Interesting texture. I've had better, though. My favorite are the harder grades, 4H and up, a little bit more crispy, a satisfactory crunching. In school my teachers would always put "Is a pleasure to have in class. Skilled at eating pencils." on the report card next to the Fs. I have no greater aspiration than this, nor should I.