My Dad Just Bingoed Me…

UPDATE 5/5/2022- scroll to bottom of OP

Backstory for context: I’m going to see my gyno tomorrow to have my nexplanon implant removed, it’s almost expiration date, so I need to have it taken out and get things set up for it’s replacement. However, since I’m going to be seeing them anyways, I am planning to ask about more permanent options for sterilization. Just to have a jumping off point, to get that ball rolling, what would it hurt to get the information, right?

So, during all of this, my dad’s fridge conked out on him, and he asked me to go to price shopping with him to get a replacement. I tell him that I’m busy tomorrow, but Friday would work. So we make our plans. But then he asks me about my drs appointment and if I’m nervous at all about having it taken out, cause I’m squeamish with needles and blood. I’m not really nervous about it, just anxious about the pain anticipation.

My dad knows that I am Childfree, and he knows that both my fiancé and I don’t want to have kids. And he’s always seemed to be supportive of it. My mom doesn’t really like it, but my dad is a lot more understanding, and gets my reasons for not wanting to, and respects me about it for the most part. He even goes so far as to buy my dog Xmas presents, cause that’s his “granddoghter.” So, when I told him my plan to ask my gyno about permanent sterilization, he kinda freaked out. And told me, “what! But why? What if you do change your mind in a few years?” I’m 35…. I told him that there are reversible procedures, mostly to placate him, and he said, “but why pay for a surgery twice!” He got really quiet after that, and I just had to end the conversation… because I seriously felt like he supported me in this, and now I’m questioning how sincere he was about his past support.

I know he would, ideally, love to be a grandpa, so I know it kills him in a way that he won’t be. I’m his only child. But, that seriously hurt my heart, to feel like he didn’t ever really support my choice.

Now I’m bummed out. But I’m still going to have that conversation with my gyno tomorrow.

UPDATE 5/5/2022

I had my appointment today, and everything went well. Got my new implant, and am good to go after 2 weeks, with a check-up early next month to see how the placement is going, etc. standard stuff really. I’m actually surprised that they gave me my replacement as soon as the old one was on taken out! As I’m used to having some sort of waiting period between switching birth control forms, or even pill type, because of past experiences with trying different forms (patch, pill(s), and nuvaring, being the types I’ve tried so far, besides the implant). But it makes sense, as they don’t want to create unnecessary scarring, so they put the new one in the same place as the former.

Anyways, I did ask her about the possibility for me getting a more permanent form of birth control. And asked her about having a Tubal Ligation. She said that because of my gallbladder surgery I had several years ago, that scar tissue may make the surgery more difficult. So that puts me in a “high risk” category. So, further drs visits will be needed obviously, to confirm if I can have this surgery and what my risk factors are. BUT, aside from bingo’ing me also, and giving me the “you may change your mind, or meet the right person…” bs, she told me that since I am 35, that I do have the right to control my reproductivity, and that I need to think about it in terms of permanence, and the cost that will go into it, etc., which is basically just her way of covering her ass, and making sure that I understand what I’m asking. If she had given me a different reaction, like “oh you wanna be sterilized, sure how does Friday at 3, sound?” I’d be weary to be completely honest. So I know she was just being professional, and doing her job, by not shutting me down per say, but telling me to think about it further, as it is still surgery. All in all I think that it went well, she said that we can revisit this conversation when I see her next month for my check up. So I may have found a doctor 🥲🥹💖 woo hoo!