I don't feel supported

Warning: Suicide. Also riddled with some pretty bad insecurity because of where I'm at emotionally right now.

Background: I have persistent depression, anxiety, and passive suicidal ideation that when it gets exacerbated becomes serious and I sometimes act on my suicidal impulses. Last night was one of those. I'm in therapy and on medication, but with COVID I've had to bounce around therapists and haven't had consistent psychotherapy. I'm also an ICU nurse so I've been surrounded by a crushing amount of meaningless death for the last two years. One of the things that come with this is the near-constant thought that I'm a burden and no one actually likes me, so it's hard to open up to people outside of therapy about this. I have one specific friend who I trust with this because she has similar mental health issues and doesn't speak in platitudes when it comes up, but I'm constantly worried I'm burdening her when I reach out to talk about it. I've also expressed this insecurity and she says she cares and is happy to help, and when I'm in a logical place I take her at her word.

I reached out to her about my attempt last night and asked if we could get together and talk because I'm still really down. She responded with some of the token "What the fuck were you thinking?" and "You're stronger than that!" and "It's just a tough time." which was surprising because those aren't normal responses for her. She also said she's busy (she's not working today) and gives a vague "probably later" when I ask about meeting up. This is obviously exacerbating my thoughts of being a burden and unlikeable because I've driven 7 hours at the drop of a hat for friends in similar circumstances.

Am I overthinking this? Have I unfairly placed an emotional burden on her that she can't handle? Does she just not care and is trying to be polite? Have I used up all her compassion for me? Is the friendship fucked?