r/Nanny•
judymaphone

Expectations for 1-on-1 play with one-year old

Advice Needed: Replies from All

MB here. It seems as though our nanny will do anything that isn't playing/engaging with my son.

I'll preface by saying she is incredibly helpful to our family. She does laundry, dishes, vacuums, linens, and restocks. None of these things we've asked her to do, and specifically talked to her about those being the "icing" on the cake but also unnecessary. (The cake being safety and care of our son.) She says she enjoys them and wants to do them, so I've stopped pushing back. She meets all the basics needs like keeping him safe, clean and fed.

However, I find myself increasingly irritated with her lack of engagement with our son. He just turned one. I understand the importance of independent play and involving children in household chores. However, I also feel thoughtful and engaging interaction with his caretaker is crucial for their a child's development, and part of the reason we chose in-home care (to get that 1-on-1 time).

It is rare that she is on the floor or engaging directly with my son. She is either doing chores near him (fine), on her tablet while he plays or pulls contents out of drawers, making calls, checking her Apple Watch, booking appointments, making coffee, preparing/boxing up her personal returns, etc. If she does sit with him it is for five minutes TOPS at a time, then she's off to the next "thing" that isn't playing. In fact, if he has toys strewn about (like a normal 12-month old) she will come in and clean things up so they are tidy (presumably for my husband's and my "enjoyment").

Am I overreacting? If no, what's the best way to talk to her about this?

Posted May 4, 2022, 6:37 PM UTC · edited

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