A House Divided Chapter 21 - Among Strangers

Ludo sleeps for quite a long time the day after meeting Seth and spending quality time with him. Jade, not as much. She can't stop thinking about her failure. She wants to escape that failure, so she leaves the house. She says nothing to Ludo or her mother and goes out to the market. While browsing through some odd-looking monster delicacies, a creepy squid tentacle thing, a jar filled with eyes, and yet another with some nondescript cartilage floating around, she finds that she cannot make up her mind. She finally makes her decision when a familiar spiky green arm grabs the jar before she does. It's Seth.

Seth: "Perusing the market, eh, Jade."

Jade: "I was going to buy that."

Seth: "Don't worry about it."

Jade: "But I was—"

Seth: "Jade. I said don't worry about it. It's already paid for. Right, Mr. Butcher?"

The butcher just looks at Seth with a worried look in his eyes, then back at Jade.

Butcher: "Yeah, sure."

Seth: "See? Everything's cool."

Jade: "Thank you?"

Seth: "Hm, odd. That sounded a bit more like a question than a declarative statement."

Jade: "Thank you."

Seth: "That's my girl."

Jade: "So um—"

Seth: "I guess I'm beating around the bush again, aren't I? You have a mission to get back to, right?"

Jade: "About that."

Seth: "Jade, you failed to kill Queen Moon."

Jade: "I'm sorry, it's just—"

Seth: "What in the world are you apologizing to ME for? YOU'RE the one that voluntarily decided to take on this mission, and I was all, 'cool, good, great, best idea ever'. If you failed, the only one you should apologize to is yourself. It's not very dignified to go and tell people you're gonna do something, and then, you know, not do it."

Jade: "I'm going back out, shortly."

Seth: "Very shortly."

Jade: "I need time to prepare."

Seth: "I gave you time."

Jade: "I thought you'd kick me back out sooner."

Seth: "Jade, you brought me a gift last night. You brought me a little friend and I must say, I am utterly star-struck by that kid. Your little 'gift' to me of our mossy green little buddy is exactly why I let you stay for the remainder of last night. I figured 'gosh, that girl must be tired', and I, with my most gracious mercy, allowed you to spend the night with mommy-dearest and our good friend, Ludo. But now that you're all rested up, it's time to get back out into the world again and, Jade, this time, I want you to get that dagger nice and dirty for me."

Jade: "I will. I promise."

Seth: "I know you will. And look at it this way. When you come back, all worn and grizzled, but triumphant, I will throw you the biggest party you've ever had. I will make YOU queen for the day around here. You know, your dad was a really swell guy. Number two guy around here, he was. It's a real shame that he could never come back. I really did want him to, you know. He was more than just my general. He was a really good friend. When he said he was gonna kill Queen Comet Butterfly, I thought he was nuts, but I told him, 'be careful'. I told him not to underestimate her, and, like you, I warned him not to return unless he finished the job, and he did it! That mad man actually did it. Comet Butterfly, dead as a doorknob. He really made me proud that day."

Jade is quite frankly disturbed by how casually Seth can just talk about death like that, like a man with no empathy whatsoever, even about someone that everyone in Septarsis hated.

Seth: "When he came back though, I thought he'd walk through Septarsis with a big old cheesy grin like he just conquered the world or something, but he didn't. In fact, he was pretty stirred when he walked in. The man was a hero, and yet he had the grumpiest puss in the whole room. We celebrated for him, and yet he wasn't even done yet. He was still thirsty for more. I took a look at the nub where his finger once was. She blew that finger clean off of him! Of course, it wasn't Comet, he told me, but her daughter, Moon Butterfly. He was redder than a tomato about her. He had 5 seconds of fame, then she blew his finger off with magic. I had to break it to him that it wouldn't just grow back. He was furious. He told me he wasn't done yet, and that he wanted to get revenge on Moon Butterfly. To think, all that mess over a finger."

Jade can just feel her blood pressure rising as he stands there, egging her on, metaphorically digging into her with his words.

Jade: "Are you done? I'm going now."

Seth: "I didn't even kick you out yet."

Jade: "You don't have to. I'm leaving."

Seth: "Jade... don't set foot back into Septarsis until you're done. Our little buddy, Ludo, he'll be safe here with me, but you're not seeing him again until Moon Butterfly is a lifeless corpse. You got me?"

Jade: "Loud and clear."

With that, Jade leaves Septarsis once more. The maw of the entrance to Septarsis opens wide into a rain-filled morning. The serpent then recedes creepily back into the watery abyss. Jade whistles into the air, as loud as she can. Within seconds, the Eagle baring the large Spider descends upon her.

Jade: "Come on, girls. We're going back to Mewni. I got unfinished business."

They then ascend into the clouds. Meanwhile, Ludo Avarius has risen from the oversized and very comfortable bed with a bit of a hangover. He stumbles downstairs to find Jade's mother and Seth sitting at the kitchen table.

Seth: "Ludo! My man! Get your butt over here!"

Ludo walks over to the table only to stare awkwardly at the tall chairs with two much taller people sitting on them.

Ludo: "Um..."

Seth: Oh, right. Just a sec.

Seth picks up Ludo like a small baby and sits him on the chair so that he's high up and sitting face to face with "the grown-ups".

Seth: "Emerald, this young man looks a little hungover. Get him some coffee."

Emerald scoffs.

Emerald: "I told Jade to give him some water last night."

Seth ignores her grumbling and focuses right on Ludo.

Seth: "Listen, Ludo, I'm really sorry about last night. I wanna make it up to you by giving you a big tour of Septarsis. What do ya say?"

Ludo: "That sounds nice."

Ludo drinks his coffee, which Emerald left black, but it's okay because Ludo doesn't mind bitter coffee. He feels more invigorated and hops off his tall chair with the energy of a boy. Seth rises from his chair and they depart for Septarsis. They wave goodbye to Emerald who gestures the same with a hint of insincerity. Outside, Ludo has finally realized that the entirety of the outside, is inside and that Septarsis has no actual sky.

Ludo: "Seth, why doesn't Septarsis have a sun? Where is the sky?"

Seth: "That's a great question, Ludo, and the answer to that, it's because Septarsis, in and of itself, doesn't HAVE an outside. We are entirely within the belly of this massive mechanical and engineering masterpiece, that is the result of the hard work and mental genius of myself, my general Toffee, and an old pal of mine by the name of Iggy. 90% or more is his brain work. The guy is crazy smart, Ludo, and today is your lucky day because we're gonna meet the brain behind this place in a bit."

Ludo: "Neato!"

Seth: "Yes it is."

Seth and Ludo pass through a large marketplace, where gutted fish and entrails are being sold and bargained. Beyond the marketplace is a new section of housing under construction for the mothers to raise the eggs of their many lizard children. Many stern-looking lizards in yellow and grey hard hats are about, doing various activities such as moving steel girders in groups, welding, etc. On the outside, the Septarians behave like brutes, but on their own turf, they reveal themselves to be highly organized and sophisticated beings capable of wielding technologies many aren't aware they possess.

The aforementioned Iggy, known fully as Igginaus Rogannien, has trained many others in his art of engineering for generations, and because of that, such prosthetics as the replacement robotic arms, such as the one seen on one Rasticore Chaosus Disastervaine, were made to aid those that had lost their limbs due to a queen's wrath. He had also outsourced his services to create not only St. Olga, the founder of the eponymous School for Wayward Princesses, but her servant, and later Miss Heinous' servant, Gemini.

Ludo and Seth walk past a school of Septarian kids, a gated-off school where kids are actually taught practical things. The children here learn to do their own laundry, how to hunt and kill, how to fish, and how to be completely independent. The school itself is a rather large marble and concrete building with two large decorative pillars with metal dragons wrapping all the way around and up as they support a red roof above.

Seth: "If it need be, any of these kids could go out into the world and make a living. They're here for their own protection from the Mewmans. It's sad, really."

Ludo looks in the gate with total ecstasy. He wishes he had something like this when he was growing up and he's envious of all the kids because they look somewhat happy to be there.

Seth: "Ludo, stop staring in there, it's kinda creepy. You're not a kid anymore."

Ludo: "Oh yeah, that's right... I'm old." (Sighs)

Seth: "Pf, no you're not."

Even further down the long streets are homes, each uniquely ornate, tall structures that seem to defy conventional architectural standards. Many of the houses are black, utilizing a combination of natural lighting with torches, some of which come in odd colors like green and blue. The overall feel of Septarsis is that of advanced while still remotely gothic. Septarians have a bit of an artistic fetish for the dark and moody, creepy but still elegant aesthetic, met with the enhancements of technological breakthroughs thanks to the great Minds of Igginaus.

Ludo can see a castle on the horizon now, a really big place with bricks that look like they're made of ash. Now that Ludo thinks about it, the decor of the whole place feels a lot like his old castle, but only infused with technology and more lizard-like themes. Ludo and Seth pass along one more place, a massive training academy, where bladed, blunt, and chained weapons line the walls, training dummies stand in rows, and where Septarians are doing various activities, from engaging in armed combat, to wrestling, to simply standing idly by. Every Septarian has to learn to fight using an array of weapons, but most importantly, the traditional hooked Septarian Scimitar. Every single one has to be prepared should an invasion ever occur from the outside world.

Ludo and Seth finally reach the castle. A crimson red carpet stretches out the front doors like a long tongue, draping down the stairway from the castle entrance. The inside is huge and just as darkly colored as the outside. Along the wall are various unfinished contraptions that are largely unidentifiable. They pass such mechanical oddities as a prototypical plane-like contraption and a humanoid being laid dead on a slab at a slant, with wires hanging out like guts. At the end of a long corridor filled with more madness is a smaller room, filled with all sorts of random stuff, as if it belongs to a hoarder. In the corner lays many different types of literature, ranging from complex physics to romance novels, to a plastic sleeved, mint condition copy of "The Argon Atomizer #1: The Origin of the Atomizer" featuring the first-ever appearance of villains Axel Hacksaw and the Deadbeat Gang (only 2000 copies ever made).

Against the wall is a desk with several large monitors, a gaming chair, and another desk that is just littered with all sorts of clutter ranging from notes written in chicken scratch to a foot tall model of a mech suit meticulously put together with parts so small you need tweezers, and a noticeably jarring plastic toy horse doll with overly large eyes and a garish color scheme, a girl's toy. The computer is powered by a monster of a tower with neon lights, like something out of a science fiction film from the 80s. The room itself is dark, but so filled with various colors emitted by the series of screens and LEDs that it feels like it's properly lit with ambiance alone. Finally, the star of this room is spotted in the farthest-most part of the room, with big headphones over his nasty and unkempt green-dyed hair. A hunched-over lizard in a dirty beige lab coat, covered in unknown chemicals hovers over a chemistry set of various brightly lit pastel liquids. Seth walks over and lays a hand on his shoulder, startling the poor creature, and making him spill his vial all over the table.

Seth: "Iggy, my boy!"

Iggy: "Gah!"

Seth: "Oh man. Was that stuff important?"

Iggy: "In the sweet name of Carl Friedrich Gauss what... OH, Father! I mean Seth, it's you, oh great leader!"

Seth: "Was I bothering you?"

Iggy: "Oh no-no-no. Not at all. This was just, uh, I was trying to create the perfect caffeinated beverage with all the taste, but none of the falseness of diet sodas, and all the benefits of a protein shake while still maintaining zero calories. And of course, now, I'll have to reset the entire album back to the start. I was listening to the score of an anime called Oni Tōshi no Kodomo-Tachi no Tame no Sakura Kōkō which roughly translates to 'Cherry Blossom High School for Demon Kids', the second season episode 3. It's a love triangle comedy series about a demon girl and her bumbling boyfriend and this third cheerleader girl—"

Seth: (Sarcastically) "Fascinating."

Seth doesn't care. He's more interested in introducing Ludo than he is about hearing about whatever fantastical romance nonsense Iggy has to spew on about.

Seth: "Igg, this is Ludo Avarius, prince of the Monster Kingdom in Mewni."

Iggy: "An outsider? Here? But Seth—"

Seth: "Relax. He was a gift from Jade. Do you know who this guy is? He's the guy that took over Mewni with the rats."

Iggy: "Sorry, haven't paid much attention to the news."

Iggy looks at Ludo with his one robotic eye. Iggy is a relatively average height Septarian, sort of husky, with dirty clothes. He smells like a combination of unknown chemicals, electrical burns, and B.O.

Iggy: "So Ludo, are you an Otachi-dan shipper, or an Ikaru-san shipper?"

Ludo: "Uh, I—"

Seth: "Ludo doesn't watch your weird earth people cartoons."

Iggy: "So uncultured."

Seth: "What was that?"

Iggy: "Nothing. So, why are you showing me this outsider in the first place?"

Seth: "This guy is integral to Mewni being ours again, Iggy."

Iggy: "Him? How?"

Seth: "I'm gonna mold this little guy to be an awesome, killer leader, and iron out the kinks."

Ludo: "So you're the guy that built this huge city inside a giant robot thingy?"

Iggy: "It's not a 'giant robot thingy'. It's a hyper-advanced engineering breakthrough mechano-electrical aqua-serpentine that was constructed by a team of no less than 300 engineers and it took over 10 years to make."

Seth: "Don't be rude, Iggy. The kid just can't find the right words to articulate how he feels about your wondrous technology."

Iggy: "Sorry, Ludo. It's just that it stressed me out beyond belief partaking in such an extended project."

Ludo: "I like all the cool stuff you have in here."

Iggy: "So, do you read manga?"

Ludo: "I really don't have this kind of stuff at home. I didn't have much of a childhood."

Iggy: "This stuff isn't for children... but, I suppose if you ever want to visit here, as long as you don't touch my stuff, I could educate you on not only classical entertainment but on how my 'stuff' works."

Ludo: "Really? It'd be like having a big brother that actually pays attention to me!"

Iggy: "Wow, that's uh. Anyway. I gotta get back to work. Scientific breakthroughs don't discover themselves, you know. Or, if you want, you could attend one of my engineering lectures down at the school."

Seth: "You should educate ME on how some of this stuff works."

Iggy: "Sure thing."

Seth: "But, that'll have to wait for another day."

Ludo: "We're leaving, already?"

Seth: "You want to see more of Septarsis, don't you?"

Ludo: "Yeah."

Seth: "Then let's go."

Iggy: "It's okay, I'll catch up with you guys some other time, okay? Later."

Seth: "See ya, Igg."

Ludo: "Bye, Iggy."

The two leave.

Seth: "So, Ludo, what did you think of old Iggy?"

Ludo: "That man sure likes his cool toys. It makes me glad to know that I'm not the only adult that still likes toys."

Seth: "Yeah, toys."

Seth rolls his eyes.

Septarsis all in all doesn't seem that bad to Ludo, save for the fact that it's pretty crowded in that giant sea-serpent. One thing that catches Ludo's eye is the back-end wall as they continue to tour. Ludo distinctly notices one part of the wall that's different, as if something is behind it that nobody wants him to see. Nevertheless, he ignores it as they proceed back to their origin. With the tour over. Seth takes Ludo back to Toffee's estate.

Seth: "Well, Ludo, that was sure a heck of a lot of walking, and there's still so much more to Septarsis than meets the eye. I'm glad you and I could spend so much time together. I want to see you again tomorrow. I want to get started on ironing out some of those kinks in your leading skills."

Ludo is anxious. He'd never been told how to lead, and it makes him self-critical of how he can possibly be a bad leader, even though it's completely obvious to everyone else why he is. As Ludo walks back into the abode, he notices that Emerald is in the living room with several other women, chatting over some ladies' books. It's a book club, and she's far too entertained by that to even notice or care about Ludo walking in the door. Ludo doesn't eat dinner that night. All he has are some treats from off the counter that he nibbles on before laying in bed. He stares at the ceiling, uncertain of what to do next. It bothers him, being surrounded by strangers and not knowing what to do.

Ludo appreciates the fact that Seth is trying to make him feel so welcome, but he just feels off. Meanwhile, Seth heads back to his office. He sits in his big old chair and kicks his feet up on his desk. He ponders for a moment in utter silence, just listening. It is then that he stands up, and walks over to the fireplace that has a large dragon head with gemmed eyes pointing out of the wall. He pulls the tongue, and the fireplace heightens to the size of a doorway, with the fire moving to the sides of the door, just wide enough for a person to go through without getting burnt so long as they're not reckless and clumsy. Beyond the doorway is a stone spiral staircase, descending into a pit of darkness. After descending for nearly a full minute, Seth reaches a wooden gated door. He opens it to reveal a large stone room with two blue-lit torches and an alter with a massive black book on the table. Seth opens the book to reveal a tiny, ghostly little man within.

Seth: "Hello, Shadow."