I need my driver's license and I'm feeling hopeless

I don't know what to do. I've had my learners permit for 5 years now and I need my driver's license but I avoid driving so often because I have so much anxiety about it and I get so flustered every time I make a mistake that I end up having an anxiety attack and I either shut down or blow up at the person helping me practice. I've taken the driving test 3 times now and each time I get so nervous that I make a ton of mistakes and miserably fail. It also doesn't help that the instructors usually give me automatic fails for things like stopping too long at a stop sign and not head checking when I know I did. I'm considering going to a driving school but I don't know which one to go to. I'm afraid of the school being sexist or ableist because I am female presenting and have ADHD and anxiety. I have meds for the anxiety but they don't really help all that much and I had meds for the ADHD but they made me nauseous so I had to stop taking them. Someone please help I am at my wit's end.