The Scream
[deleted]
Posted May 6, 2022, 2:32 AM UTC · edited
63
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1
Firstly, thank you for sharing! I got the impression this was about someone trying to escape from an abusive situation but I could be completely wrong. The line ‘her heart did water break’ kind of made me think of an attempt on her own life via drowning? Lastly, ‘her death bloomed red again’ made me think of flowers blooming from her body being use as fertiliser. Please correct me if I’m wrong but instead really intrigued to hear what your intention was!
First of all, thanks! I worked on this poem all day, and someone-you-finally responded. I think that my poem could do with major re-working, currently too unclear. You got the general idea, and yes she drowns in the lake. But the line ‘her heart did water break’ I was unsure about, kinda felt not-quite-right to me. The line here death bloomed red again’ was meant to be about her drowning, instead of the other line, because it feels intuitive (to me) that blood spreads out and ‘blooms’ in water. Thank you again.