Google Play balance is locked to the US. I am in the US. I can't use it. Any fixes?

Figured I'd spam this over the internet, maybe I'll get an answer.

I bought $10 of Google Play balance a few weeks ago and never got around to using it, so I decoded to buy some games today. I used my debit card (it's a regional Midwestern American credit union) to buy it at the time.

But today I decided to spend it, why not. And then I get: Error. Couldn't complete your transaction. Your Play balance can only be used in the United States. See the gift card terms of service."

The facts:

• I bought the balance with USD from an American bank.

• I have never set foot outside of the US in my life.

• My account's country is set to the United States.

• I have location services on, and Google Play has location permissions.

• I am not using a VPN, nor have I ever used one on my device.

Is there something I'm missing, or am I just out $10?