Source
r/booksuggestions•
PowerInMyHand

Self Help but not a self help book enthusiast

Anybody have recommendations for books that help with emotional responses?

I’ve never been big on self help books but I find that I need to work on my reactiveness. I tend to get frustrated when I perceive knowledge as being obvious and I let that bleed into the way I talk to people and it’s not okay.

All of my patience and calmness gets eaten up with my very young children, and this trait of mine is becoming more and more exacerbated. Perhaps therapy is the better answer but while I’m trying find the right fit I want to try out some books.

Posted May 10, 2022, 3:30 PM UTC

08
SluggoJones•

Your post resonates with me. I too struggle with my tone & inflection in those situations. It’s taken me a long time to learn to be less aggressive and more understanding. It still takes work.

I also, like you, am not a self help book enthusiast. However, here are a few books that I feel helped me overall. None are really self help but have all helped develop a mindset that makes interactions easier.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frankl & The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason.

I also really benefitted from Start with Why by Simon Sinek but it’s maybe less relevant than those 3.

2
PowerInMyHandOP•

Thank you. I will check them out.

I think the transition to fully remote has really made me regress in these areas and really want to get myself in a better head space.

1
Hardcaliber80•

Mind Hacking happiness by Sean Webb. Volume one and two. 10 hour listen for each book on audible.

Amazing

2
PowerInMyHandOP•

Thank you! Love a good audio book.

1
Slinkeh_Inkeh•

The Power of Now changed my life in this regard. It won't fix everything, but starting to think about being present and how to achieve that moment by moment was really powerful for me at a time when anger and impatience were waiting to take me over at any given moment.

You might also look up behavioral replacement therapy. I find that when I get impatient with my dog, it helps to clench my fists and concentrate on my breathing for 60 seconds.

1
PowerInMyHandOP•

Thanks! Good tips.

The combination of transitioning fully remote and having two kids in the last 3 years has really impacted me in this area.

I think in person I was always able to balance between assertive confidence and aggressive anger. 3 years of remote working and I’m starting to lose that. A lot easier to say what’s on your mind and get a bit snarky when you aren’t looking at a room full of people. I don’t like it and want to work on it. Having a 1 and 3 year old while working full time though has my brain mush. So would like to start with some interesting reads/audio books to get my head space better.

Appreciate the response!

1
Slinkeh_Inkeh•

You're welcome! You know, I was thinking about your post a little today and it occurred to me to tell you that you might look into whether you have depression. If that feels like the wrong label, please know I don't mean offense. I just recall feeling a lot of the things you're describing here very intensely at the height (depth?) of my clinical depression, and a lot of it became easier to work on and deal with once i was diagnosed by my therapist. Please know I say all this not to stick unwanted labels on you but rather in the hopes that if you ARE having a depressive episode maybe this convo can help shine a lot on it.

I wish you the best of luck in your mental health journey! You deserve peace and contentment and patience :)

1
PowerInMyHandOP•

Thank you. No offense taken. It’s probable. I’m trying to find the right therapist and hopefully that will help.

I hope you are doing well now yourself and appreciate your thoughtful response.

2