anyone get confusing measurements ????

Last night i got hands on a measuring tape so i woke up my little friend down there to see how tall he is the girth was same as usual 5 inches but the length was being weird instead of 7 it was 6.5, 7 from above and from the scrotum it was 7.5

Am i dying or it's obvious and i couldn't get myself hard enough i think that as well