Source
r/humansarespaceorcs•
FireNewt451

Pack bonding / when the monkey says NOPE!!

writing prompt

Pack bonding / when the monkey says NOPE!!

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Throughout the Galaxy humans are known for tendency to pack bond with anything, or at least attempt to. This has become so synonymous with humans that aliens would literally throw humans out of the ship towards dangerous animals to pacify them. This is lead to a realization, humans are really good at figuring out IF they can pack bond with something. If the human goes Nope! Follow the human and Nope out of there.

Posted May 13, 2022, 5:29 PM UTC

23625
Suspicious_Turn4426•

Many species have had tame wildlife integrated into their ranks. Infact almost every sapient species, council aligned, extant, or extinct has had companion animals. Sometimes dozens of them, sometimes a solitary "second class" of creatures that became too dependent upon the host species to survive alone.

No race however has surpassed the humans ability to aquire the loyalty and affection of nearly any creature they've come across. Of the millions of species on their own planet, hundreds were chosen for companions. The humans are still aquiring more companion species, even as they spread into the stars.

There were however, a notable number of exceptions. In this essay i will go onto explain how even humans found the species known as "Hippopotamus Amphibius" is one of the most wretched creatures to ever grace the universe with it's presence.

It all began when my native guide umbawntu, spotted one coming up the river...

139
IC_GtW2•

"I thought they were among your gods?"

"That was the Egyptians, several thousand years ago- and they knew better than to try and worship a pissed off hippo in the wild! Run!"

90
Seasoned_Pies•

Ah this sounds interesting 🧐

15
Unique_Engineering23•

And what others were Noped! ?

1
Oz_per_rubeum•

Trust the human's survival instinct... Don't trust the purple barbwire sheep leaking sus liquids, staring and purring at you, if your human runs at near terminal velocity the other way...

64
Dragon3076•

And then there is Human Steve. Bless Steve and his friendliness to all creatures both big and small.

46
sgttedsworth•

“Nature!”

13
Dragon3076•

Crikey!

12
ZappyKitten•

There are always outliers.

10
ScorpioPerk•

"Ummm.... Biologist Rillia, what is that?"

"Hm? OH! yeah, I succeeded in mass compression with rats so... I used it on our hippo Bully Billy."

"... It's gnawing on you."

"He does that when he's hungry. I can always cancel it too, just in case of pirates."

"... WHY?!?!"

"Because fuck em."

30
Dragon3076•

"What is that big-"

"Great Zork, RUN!"

"Oh ma-"

Bully Billy crunches silly Xenos Pirate

19
ScorpioPerk•

"Give us the experiments, weaklings!"

"... are you sure?"

"Yes human!"

"... all right, catch!"

Rillia tosses Bully Billy, pressing the button on her holo-watch. Billy's collar lights up and he goes from a 3 lb cuddle bug, to a 3.5 ton murder horse of hate... that was still flying towards the pirates.

23
FireNewt451OP•

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su7GkqwxG08

8
ScorpioPerk•

fun fact: hippos have very little fat. They are all muscle. They can’t swim or float, instead told nature to f&$k off and spend most of their lives in water. they run and leap across the river floor. Which makes the video, that much more terrifying

18
DuskDawnOwl•

I know there is a lot of good from spiders and they won’t go out of their way to hurt you, most of the time Looks at Australia but I still have problems with them running in my direction. Something in that situation would make me “Nope The F@$k Out.”

7
xeros1269•

Yeah even for us Australians, seeing a spider the size of a dinner plate skitter towards you is uniquely terrifying

4
Possible-Ball-4829•

And then you have the huntsman.....

2
xeros1269•

That's the one I was referring to, the females in my house get big enough we need to big white chemical buckets to move them

2
Possible-Ball-4829•

Yea just no....

1
Unique_Engineering23•

They get that big, or do you have small plates?

1
xeros1269•

No huntsman's just get huge, especially if they have regular food supply, so around any house that leaves lights on at night they get massive

1
Unique_Engineering23•

Someone once told me of a moth the size of a cat. I never figured out whether he was having me on , or truth.

1
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