Return to Sender

I was all emptied out. I was not radiating any more heat from my body. It felt cold and empty, every part of me.

I sat on a big rock to wait for someone to come collect me. They do that right? I squint at an approaching dark mass cutting across the trees. Making its way to me on my big rock.

I stood up just in time for Dark Mass to float a metre away from my face. Dark Mass felt oddly familiar.

“Have I seen you before?”

“Yes of course.” It was a silky voice. I was taken aback briefly by the cultured and reassuring cadence.

“Do I walk with you?” I helpfully mimicked some arm swinging motion but Dark Mass did not reply. It simply float nearer to my heart as if to examine me.

“Hang on a second. Why are you so cold. And also empty? Why are you empty?” The amicable cadence was gone, replaced by a hint of flustered puzzlement.

“Was I not supposed to be cold?”

“Cold yes..maybe. But not empty. There should be something here for me to collect.”

“This is how I..”

“What the fuck happened here?” Dark Mass has floated up to face me directly. There were no eyes but I could feel him staring directly at me.

“I was all emptied out. Could it be because I gave everything?”

“I can’t bring you back like this. I have no use for an empty shell. You have to go back.”

“What do you mean go back?”

And those were the words I woke up muttering when they resuscitated me. I wasn’t in a forest, I was on a bed and I could feel heat returning to my body part by part and I began to breathe again.

My mind was a jumbled mess of scattered thoughts and emotions but one thought kept surfacing on top of everything.

“You can be cold. You can be silent. But you cannot be empty.”