Obsessively in love with people who neglect me? Attachment issues? What IS this :')

Hello there!

I recently noticed a distressing trend. Wether best friends or partners/crushes: I become absolutely obsessed with them to a point where all my attention is on them and my mood depends on getting love and attention (i feel like i almost pathetically beg and pressure in order to get sum love). This only happens with people I perceive as more competent/strong than me. They also need to be a bit mean to me or ignore me often. It needs to be an insecure relationship. I'm obsessively in love and am devastated when I get mixed signals. But thats the type of person I immedeatly fall on in love with and keep obsessing about, basically. I am really, really physical.

Saddest thing about this: i cant keep up healthy relationships where i am truly loved and get attention and its balanced (50/50). ill immedeatly loose interest if im not constantly struggling and thriving after that attention. I can not for the love of god stay in love in a secure relationship. If I dont see that person for a while I'll be more interested again, but return to apathy/annoyance pretty soon. I dislike being physical in this case.

Does anyone know what could be going on? This is ruining my life

(not a native speaker, forgive my english!)