Any good strategies for not making my mood (or lack thereof) swings my loved ones' problem?

Hi hi! So I don't talk much about my depression or any of my mental much with my loved ones, because it's an overwhelming thing for me alone that does that all-consuming down and "not-here" feeling. What's harder to hide is my mood swings.

Specifically, I'm veeeery conflict-avoidant; so, often when I'm upset my whole demeanor shifts and I go silent, can't look at anybody, like a hot wash of feeling that I can't express or know how to. Like I stone face 🗿but with a super nervous, mute energy. If I can't do that, I go elsewhere to have my tantrum. I'm self-harming again sometimes, so I have to be careful. Course I don't tell them this, I don't want to scare them.

If anyone has any tips for tempering myself better, I am thankful. Much appreciated!