HARD agree. the writing style is decent, but the premise of an AI writing the "great human novel", and the assumption that such a thing even exists, makes this unreadable for me.

This is really helpful feedback, thank you. As soon as I read it I thought, no duh, it doesn't have to be "the best" in order to serve its purpose. Just a contender is enough. And I take your point about the meaning of ancient. Perhaps growing up west of the Mississippi forever ruined the meaning of the word for me.

I have to get this nitpick out of the way- there’s no such thing as an ancient cabin on the Oregon coast. Yeah yeah it’s hyperbolic fine. I’m just saying it irked me. old would work better IMO. 

Anyways, to the content of the story- I think it works as intended, mostly. I was briefly confused about the origin of “the paragraph”, but eventually decided it must be autobiographical, coming from the character who presents it. 

I have to say that the reveal of what’s going on with that character is really well done. The point she’s making with the paragraph is well received

But

I don’t think anyone who’s familiar with either literature *or* the current state of machine-learned writing can really find the idea that an AI written novel would be a contender for “the great human novel” creditable because- that thing literally cannot exist

You could take it as a compliment that I’m critiquing content without doing a line edit, but honestly I don’t go in for line edits. The only jarring mome

# Line Comments
>The network of supercomputers in the basement of ***a*** red brick building at Florida State University was not designed to write a novel.

It's a little better to say ***the*** red brick building.

>Now, two years later, three nationally-acclaimed writers are gathered in an ancient cabin on the Oregon Coast.

This is a transition to present tense. A section divider (horizontal line) should be used to separate this from the previous past tense section.

Also, "Now, two years later" sounds clunky.

>Adrian notices that Sandra is waiting for their attention. "Well?" he says.

We should be shown via actions, not told.

>Sandra and Colleen ***have made*** their decision

Should this be *make*?



# Tense

Is there a reason to switch from past-tense in the beginning to present-tense after a few paragraphs?

Personally, the present tense here irked me. It would've sounded fine if you continued in past-tense.

It's uncommon to use third-person omniscient present-tense. It fee

Really appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thank you.

Overview -
It was hard to interpret at first on what was going on in the novel?, as it jumps from gathering to argument to past story. Later, I didn't noticed that story revolves around novel made by AI. So, on second read I got everything. I find it a nice read.

Characters -

1) Adrian - As he looks though the books, and finds what Sandra had picked up, his wish to talk about books goes off. I believe because he thinks that book doesn't need to called "book" as it is not written by a human and tires to explain that to other too. At end, he has to agree as Colleen throws a reason that he can't deny at all. He according to me is, stubborn, having limited perspective, but still respects other two.
Sandra - Is practical and tries to convince Adrain that a novel written by AI is more than eligible for McCarty prize, a task they have given with

2) Colleen - suffers from a polio of spine and have machine attached to her chest to sustain her. (Till now, i didn't knew polio can spread to spi

Thanks. I felt fine about those sentences, too, but wanted to hear the other commenter out.

Jumping in to say hard disagree with this commenter. Both of those sentences are fine grammatically. You're emulating self-interrupting speech found in dialogue, so I would label the parts of speech between the em dashes and commas as interjections. [Here is a resource on how to use interjections.](https://prowritingaid.com/grammar/1000160/Should-I-use-comma-after-interjections-) Essentially it's fine to use either em dashes or commas to write a sentence like this.
  

The rule you want to follow when making interjections is to be sure that everything beyond (before or after) the interruption is a complete sentence.

"In '94, ~~I'll never forget,~~ they connected it to the internet." -> "In '94, they connected it to the internet." Yep, complete sentence.

The commenter's suggestion: "In '94, ~~I'll never forget,~~ as they connected it to the internet." -> "In '94, as they connected it to the internet." is not a complete sentence and therefore is grammatically incorrect.

At first my parents put me in the living room could work, but the wording could differ person to person and especially you as your style of writing is very new to me as I mainky read novels on online websites.


In '94, I'll never forget, as they are connected to the internet.

Kinda bland but i forgot the context so i couldnt really do much. Like how much the character mentioned before and what he was really talking about. (Might be she i forgot). All i remember is the character used it to publish books.

Thanks for your feedback. I'm curious about what you said about the grammar. How would you correct those lines?

It was really hard to read or understand tbh. And if I didn't get hooked by the premise of a computer writing a book and hints of it being revealed i wouldnt have finished it. But then at the end i got confused because I thought they were talking about a book that was made by a computer but "But not today, not in this room, not sitting directly across from a woman who was trapped and sustained by a metal tube for most of her adult life" made me doubt myself.


Also "If he'd read it anywhere else, that last phrase would've struck Adrian like something out of a venture capital pitch." What does it mean the "out of a venture capital pitch" part mean. It's a pretty confusing expression and I think there were other parts like this too.


Now onto some things I consciously noticed after getting a hang of your style of writing.

In '94, I'll never forget, they connected it to the internet. (Pretty sure grammatically wrong)

They moved my iron lung home. At first, my parents put it — me — in t

Not much context to add here besides the fact that this is a complete short story. I've never written fiction before and am looking forward to honest feedback.

[The AI Prize](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lV47ka5gRjck-0zMB7fZRnjNjrYLA82YV7dimf4NAWM/edit)

Critique:

[2012](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/uofytg/2012_hell_is_hell/i9ekttk/?context=3)

[1414] The AI Prize