Anybody else remember this awful thing? Stole it from my dad, brought it to school. Got in trouble.
Posted May 21, 2022, 10:16 AM UTC
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I had several volumes of these books. I remember my sixth grade teacher caught me with one and confiscated it. Saw her reading it after confiscating it and chuckling to herself. She later gave it back to me telling me that she was "disappointed" that I would have such a book and not to bring it back. But all I remembered was her chuckling at it.
At one point I'm pretty sure I had fully 80% of the jokes in those books memorized and could rattle them off at will.
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Yes, but I don’t remember any of the jokes.
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There were a whole bunch of babies in blenders.
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What’s red, bubbly and scratches at the window? A baby in the microwave.
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How did the dead baby get across the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
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What do you call a girl with 1 leg?
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Eileen
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What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?
Irene.
I can’t believe how gross and racist/mysogynistic these jokes were and how much I loved them. See also: Andrew Dice Clay.
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Works at IHop
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I kinda remember one… guy finds a diseased tumor/growth on his penis. His doctor tells him it has to be amputated. He goes to one doctor after another begging for second opinion, but each of them tell him he’s got to have his penis amputated. Dejected and nearly hopeless, he seeks a mysterious doctor in Chinatown known for miracle cures. “Doc, you got to help me. Every doctor I’ve seen has told me I have to get my penis chopped off.” “That’s crazy,” said the miracle working Doctor. “No need for that.” The man wept with joy. “You really mean it? I don’t have to get my penis amputated?” “Of course,” said the doctor examining the tumor. “Wait six weeks and your pecker will fall off all by itself.”
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I was telling my kids about these books a couple of weeks ago… Helen Keller jokes FTW!
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How do you punish Helen Keller?
- Give her a bag of birdseed to read.
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A1. Leave the plunger in the toilet.
A2. Put her in a circular room and tell her the bathroom is in the corner.
I am a garbage person for knowing these.
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I still laugh my ass off at all of these.
I'm not sorry.
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Rearrange the furniture.
Helen Keller masturbates with one hand and moans with the other one.
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Hell, I got in trouble for telling one of my dads jokes at elementary school. At home, my mom ripped into my dad and not me. Still remember the joke:
What's long and green and smells like Ms. Piggy? Kermit the Frog's fingers.
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I thought the joke said "smells like pork".
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That works too. I didn’t even understand it at the time, but the adults laughed so it HAD to be funny.
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Do yourself a favor and listen to the Decoder Ring Podcast about these books. It's fascinating. I went on eBay and bought a bundle of TTJ's 1-6 recently and...hoo boy are they corny. As a Gen-X'er, I'm not offended by any of it, but you can't help but read them through a modern lens and feel a little weird how normal it was to say stuff like "faggot" and "spic" with abandon. I mean, my mom bought me a joke book called "Fairy Tales: A Treasury of Gay Jokes", and I'm pretty sure your hand would burst into flames if you picked it up in 2022
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When these made the rounds it was peak elementary school.
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You spelled "awesome" wrong.
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Kid: Mommy, Mommy can I lick the bowl?
Mom: Yeah but flush it first...
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Oh God, the Mommy Mommy jokes. I had forgotten about those.
"Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup."
"Shut up. We only have it once a month."
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Yeah I had a copy of that. I also remember the website I think it was called getoffended it had every dirty name for sex positions I used to print it out at Kinkos and have them bound it was like 300 pages of funny dirty words
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Turns out those were not tomatoes in the bowl. 👼🤢🤮
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Had several of them.
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So many dead babies.
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Way in the back at Waldenbooks is where I would sneak a peak at this series of books; looking around the corner to make sure my mom wasn’t near
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I remember dead baby jokes were a thing. Can’t do that now.
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There were 10 or so of them. 90% the same jokes reprinted again and again.
Can you imagine the shit storm that would happen if these got published today?
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What’s Ronald Reagan’s favorite vegetable?
Jim Brady
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The first book came out when I was a junior in high school (1983). I still remember a few days before school let out, a kid in my journalism class was reading this aloud. What made it worse (or better) was that I went to a mostly Jewish high school, the kid reading aloud was Jewish, and that book contained some of the most horrific Jewish jokes I've ever heard. Think Holocaust-related. And we were still cracking up.
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My Jewish husband is the source of every Jewish joke I've ever heard
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How many Jew jokes are there?
Two. Everything else is true.
I don't actually tell that joke like that. I tell it using lawyers.
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You have to admit, there was no false marketing to these books. You got exactly what was advertised.
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My mom had a Dirty Little Limericks book. They were, indeed, dirty.
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Yep, I worked at Spencer Gifts and we sold all versions of this book and a hundred other tasteless items.
Working at Spencer’s is peak genx
Blacklight psychedelic posters and naughty board games galore!
My 8 yo was just there and wanted me to buy her a shirt that said Shut up Karen.
It’s funny but your momma ain’t gonna let you wear that .