Source
r/OCPoetry•
Ok_Cut4131

Don’t Read Me Happy Poems

Poem

Daffodils

And pretty skies

Are sickening.

The innocent sweetness

Of your words

Stings my eyes.

Fingertips ache

Under the massive weight

Of each page that’s laden

With shallow depths,

Inscriptions of beauty.

.

I want wounding blows

To my head

Like the death of a dream

And the end of glowing stars

That were your

Last living hope.

Disasters like paper-cuts,

Epitomes of human existence,

Steel cages that seek birds,

Fresh open wounds of our

Tragic consciousness.

.

I’m sick of pretence,

Your happy endings and

Upbeat notes.

I detest the lights

That you pretend shine bright

In all our dark corridors.

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Posted May 22, 2022, 6:02 AM UTC

2521
aka_rubisco•

"I want wounding blows

To my head

Like the death of a dream" is fucking depressing. it flipped my heart

5
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Always glad to make you feel something strong! Appreciate your comment

2
Harriemarrie•

Very nice!!

I guess its directed against the kind of happy poems that exaggerate happiness and good emotions and tricks us into promising these feelings. It very nice how you brought the "Happy Poems" to life by as if addressing/not-addressing these words to a person whom you are fed up with. I love such happy poems - songs mostly, but at times I too fall in such phase of hating it, still always at some point go back to it.

3
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Thank you for your feedback!

You’re right, this poem mainly speaks against the illusion of grand happiness society expects in art and life, ignoring the obvious pointlessness and pain that surrounds us all. I believe that positivity cannot be as artistically impactful as pain.

It’s not directed to a particular person but people with a certain viewpoint, as a whole.

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!

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ColorsLikeSPACESHIPS•

Bessie Anderson Stanley you are not.

I specifically enjoyed "steel cages that seek birds"; there's a bright lyricism to it that's so sharply subverted by the meaning.

Thanks for sharing.

2
strangewills•

Beautiful poem ..I love this...

3
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Thank you kind stranger!

2
L1zNoelle•

Very powerful. Loved reading this.

3
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Thank you! Glad you like it

3
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2
hammadk1994•

Is this about not wanting people who are fake and preferring people who are real even if that realness is negative?

It's an interesting strange poem and I would love to know what you meant by it.

One line I don't understand: steel cages that seek birds. I understand what it literally means but how does it relate to the rest of the poem.

Fave line: in all our dark corridors

2
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Hi, thanks for your comment!

It’s mainly a rant against the forced but generally assumed positivity imposed upon art, life and living. I believe pain and negative themes are more artistically impactful than happy ideas. It might have also come from a place of frustration against unhelpful and toxicly positive comments received from people during mentally difficult periods in my life.

“Steel cages that seek birds” is an example provided of the themes of poetry I’d prefer, instead of only positive ideas. Poems often speak of free spirited birds, their rebellion against cages, perhaps their ultimate freedom. What is more common in the real world is the constant active captivity of free birds, by cages that desire a prisoner. An example of a sad or negative alternative in the face of “happy poems” is all it is.

3
Solegate•

A masterwork! Really loved it!

2
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Thank you!!

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Mystik_Reaper•

This was both relatable, and incredibly well written. Bravo

2
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Thank you for your appreciation!!

1
Global_Sea_8900•

I feel this, using an image of something positive doesn't in some sense "earn it", it can instead make something trite, and often the most uplifting art involves dark or difficult themes. The divine light at the end of the commedia wouldn't be as powerful if Dante hadn't first taken the gate into the darkness. If that makes any sense as a response.

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Ok_Cut4131OP•

You summed up the heart of my poem very successfully! Thanks for reading, and leaving your comment.

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ladybakesalot589•

Love it. The line "disasters like paper cuts" is just so good!

If I were to nitpick, felt like the line "inscriptions of beauty" somehow broke the cadence of the verse/ didn't match the rhythm of the previous line, if that makes sense. But again, this is just me nitpicking.

Edit: I am no authority or expert and still new to feedback, so please do ignore if disagree.

2
Ok_Cut4131OP•

Thanks for your feedback! I also quite like that line!

I totally understand your comment about the "inscriptions of beauty" line. Probably it doesn't quite maintain the rhythm or the general texture of the words that precede it. I feel like it's the best I could do to express what I meant to write, at that specific point.

Thanks for reading!

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ladybakesalot589•

Thanks for writing/sharing! Totally get it, sometimes I find it's best to honour the moment in which the poem emerged in the words that it emerged, and attempts to tinker can can lose some of the magic.

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