Ah, young, budding relationship - very relatable. I hope it’s still fresh as both your favorite blooms.


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Thank you! I will take what you’ve said into consideration; it is much appreciated. The initials at the end are my initials.

Nicely written and use of assonance throughout, clear structure (4x quatrains), each stanza having a individual meaning whilst being consistent and thematic. I think my favourite passages that worked well were ones with some metric rhythm:

>Yet it grips my heart with thorns.
>I prick myself on your satin sheets,

and

>Water them and sweet smell
>— shall ruminate through the room.
>The flowers are only young!

It gave the images you had more meaning as they flowed into each other. I think it gave some of the examples of well trodden imagery within the poem validity. 

I think the whole poem could do with some tightening within its meter, whether that be applying a consistent metrical format to each stanza or adjust a few lines here and there to make it more intentional (in a metrical sense). As it is a structured poem with ABCB assonance I think use of meter is something that also need to be considered.

Nice poem though, consistent feeling and tangible feeling throughout. Enjoyed it 

When words fail me —

give her my bouquet of flowers.

Each petal with its own meaning,

like your eyes in every hour.

&amp;#x200B;

Your touch is ever soft 

Yet it grips my heart with thorns.

I prick myself on your satin sheets,

Love — is as fearless as it warns.

&amp;#x200B;

Water them and sweet smell

— shall ruminate through the room.

The flowers are only young!

Don’t let them die so soon.

&amp;#x200B;

For now they live and breathe,

at the mercy of your power

O’ my love was only as pure 

as *your* favourite flowers.

&amp;#x200B;

\- A. R.

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uvzt40/comment/i9oxmsj/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uvzt40/comment/i9oxmsj/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uvve7o/comment/i9ovsox/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uvve7o/comment/i9ovsox/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

The Language of The Flowers