Source
r/OCPoetry•
pincho_whisper

Diamond Nail

Poem

The diamond-edged nail piercing my flesh

draws blood for a reason.

I may not know what my mistress is after

but still I reveal my soft forearm flesh

for her feasting.

​

Does my blood look like rubies to her?

Another precious commodity she extracts from me

along with intentional gratitude

and focused work.

She strings them all together on braided silk.

​

I'm subject to her surveillance. On the beach,

on the street, the hallowed home we share.

Where she corners me is a shrieking surprise.

Her diamond-edged nails grip the handle

and my bedroom starts to cry.

​

I'm her soul provider - no one else will do/

Her lies sprawl miles, she acts a petty fool.

When my cautious friends find her tract marks

in my arm crook, alibis ensue.

​

She's unawares according to the PR rep

inside her head. How diamonds plug my pores

and turn my blood to lead. She swore to uphold

my chance at adolescence. Instead she's

riding the pole, inviting untold torturers.

​

​

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uwdnlr/a_man_wrote_a_poem/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uwqqd6/untitled_as_of_yet/

Posted May 24, 2022, 7:06 PM UTC

53
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1
theonewiththepoetry•

I had to read it a few times, but I think I sort of got it, or at least an idea that makes sense to me.

whomever this diamond-nailed woman is, I'm pretty sure she's narcissistic. She's drawing blood from someone to whom she promised adolescence (a childhood, perhaps?) and "riding the pole" on her promise (this is a reference to skiing, I believe), meaning that she's taking back what she said or getting cold feet.

I'm not sure what the relationship is between the narrator and the woman, but I think this is a toxic relationship.

"I'm her soul provider - no one else will do" --> soul has a double meaning, I think, as sole. This person is the only provider of soul for this woman.

Also, this person is defending her, after everything - almost like codependency.

This is very powerful and, when decoded an accurate and detailed representation of a toxic relationship.

I applaud you. Nice work!

1
[deleted]•

I thought this was about blood glucose monitoring but I got lost at the crying bedroom and "her lies". Then I wondered if this was about some kind of addiction. I don't know why either would be riding a pole and getting tortured. I'm sorry, I guess it went over my head.

The imagery is good though and some of the slant rhymes work well, especially the consonance around forearm, flesh, and feasting.

0