Thanks for the kind feedback, Mike. You do not sound ignorant at all. This poem is about a day at the beach with my wife and sons (two days ago). It's a small, private beach she used to visit as a little girl. It was one of those incredible days that as a parent, you hope you never forget - a freeze frame of them in a time of pure joy and innocence. Soon enough, they'll be men, and we are awful.

I am no expert, and english is not my first language so i apologize if i sound ignorant in this comment.  
This is a great poem! The scenes depicted are so clear and alive, yet introspective.

The varieties of elements enriched what you wanted to say, and helped me get dragged in what it feels like a beautiful memory of youth, trespassing under the benevolent eyes of an old lady, playing in the sea with friends and feeling a sense of comfort and content in the little experiences you could make in that day.

  
The spacing of your verses had me a bit puzzled at first and i sometimes felt a bit difficult to remain in the rythm of the poem.  
Reading a second time i finally got the gist of it and, while being a bit verbose, i think you really nailed the flow on this poem, although i'd like to have more precise indications on where to pause, on what words i should linger a little more.

  
I also liked how the subjects you choose to write are so real and alive, and you including how you fe

This made me cry. I hope one day I will have a partner who treasures and frames memories as beautifully as this ❤️ thanks for sharing


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Seaside Trespassings