Source
r/OCPoetry•
31crzy

Silent Knights

Poem

We stand in plain sight doing the work of the shadows. Those who see me know nothing of what I do. Not becuase they are not told nor are they naieve; but because they cannot handle the truth.

They live in a world of lies. To them this is comfort; comfort from the jagged and jarring truth. Comfort from ill pains of those who suffer knowing the truths of the shadows.

For it was on these truths, these jagged and jarring truths, that societies were created and destroyed. Truths that could cause nations to burn. Truths that cannot pass through the lips of those in the shadows.

We are not immoral for operating in these shadows nor are we noble. We are a shield to those who cannot know these truths and our minds are the sword. We are the sentinels of security and the silent kights.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uxn88y/upward_mobility/ia0p0e7?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uxpl3b/forget/ia0nf7v?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

Posted May 26, 2022, 2:44 AM UTC

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1
DrunkenPunchline•

A curious piece of work. Might I ask was this coming from a personal ideal or perhaps a work of fiction you're drawing from? I'd love to know what inspired this.

As for some constructive criticism, the best advice I've ever gotten was to cut out unnecessary words. It can give the poem an almost musical quality if done correctly. A perfect example for this piece could be instead of saying

"For it was on these truths, these jagged and jarring truths"

you could say

"On these truths, these jagged jarring truths"

It cuts out unnecessary words and packs a punch. Of course this is just my opinion. Also, be sure to check your spelling.

Either way, I love it and would like to see mroe.

1
31crzyOP•

I appreciate the feedback. As far as inspiration goes, my current line of work is what inspired this work. That being said, I'm unable to elaborate as to what I do for work.

1