Thank you for the feedback ! Perhaps I can extend it. Lol I like that description, cataclysmic humor

Cute! A little bit of cataclysmic humor, I love it! I only wish it was a little longer!

nice poem, short and sweet! i really like the rhyme scheme.

I like that word instead too thank you! Eager. But yes, it is a personification or Moreso an allegory to a relationship that can’t work out because the asteroid (person) feels the need to break free

Cool poem! Interesting perspective. Seems like it personifies the asteroid that wiped out the Dinos. The thing I like the most is the sense of inevitability and which casts the irony of the playful relationship between the two astral bodies.

I felt a little wanting for dialogue between the two. There are some paths to go down there. The idea of "memories" evokes a relationship that could be more established. Semantically speaking, I stumbled on "urgent". It feels like it's being employed as a verb, but isn't usually used that way. I  think that "eager" might fit more.

Looking forward to seeing more!

Great piece! I'm someone who loves astronomy and space so well done!

oo i really enjoyed reading this. i think the rhyming and continuation onto the next line is done really well. “absorbing memories before their goodbye” this line really stands out to me, i just love it a lot. great job!


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An asteroid and Earth pulled towards the sun;

We coursed the same orbit, must say it’s been fun.

This rock, urgent to pick up some speed,

Found its momentum, began to fly free.

Bits and pieces passed through the Earth’s sky,

Absorbing memories before their goodbye.

Im sorry, the shooting star said to Big Blue..

I really never meant to hurt you.



https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uz6u10/man/ia8pkqg/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uz2n9i/im_writing_an_epic_song_three_grio_the_beast/ia7s5xq/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

Sappy in Space: The End of Dinos