For your first ever poem the imagery is solid I found myself getting lost in its simplicity loved

planning on trying to write once a day! thank you SO much for your feedback :)

A very simple and elegant poem, well done. I really enjoy the first six lines. As your new to poetry I would recommend exploring a wide range of writing styles like free flowing where you can focus on a stronger emphasis on imagery. Keep writing to get your feet wet and find what you enjoy.
For this poem in particular with a few word changes I think it could improve the rhythm of the poem. For example, the word “concrete” feels a little out of place. Shortening the line would help it flow better, maybe something like  “these feelings feel obsolete”.
Same advice for the word “return”. Maybe simply shorten it to “turn”.
Other than this great job for your first poem. I’m excited to see more of your writing.

Very Bleak. I like it.   


Momentum is the greatest cure for all things, except for escaping yourself. amazing how much peels away when your in a state of motion when you relive these kind of thoughts.... and then they just fall away as you keep walking... instead of being stuck still and they becoming the main focus. Humans instinctively assume the worst... its a survival mechanism... though it only works if your in a state of momentum, whether that be in your thoughts or actually. else you will have nothing to prove yourself wrong.... just the same looping thoughts.

simple but beautiful poem! i loved it. the poem almost perfectly describes one-sided love


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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One sided stargazing