Signals don't f*cking work
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Posted Jun 10, 2022, 9:20 AM UTC · locked
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Had something similar happen. Not at work but at a local store I used to frequent. The cashier I would always see and be friendly with got silent one day while tallying my items, which included a box of condoms this time. She finally quipped "hot date?" or something similar, and, a bit unnerved by the question considering the item that had led to it being asked, I responded that I did in fact have a date this weekend and joked that I would rather have them and not need them than the opposite. Shit got real awkward real quick, and suddenly I felt like I was about to have an argument with a girlfriend even though I was single.
Apparently what I thought was the two of us just being friendly was meant as - and taken as from her perspective - flirting and dropping signals. I responded that I wouldn't cross that line with someone at their place of work because I wouldn't want the same done to me, it makes things awkward, etc.
I haven't been back since which sucks because I loved that store and the owners were great people who I was happy to be a loyal customer to. I can't even imagine how awkward it would be for something similar to happen somewhere I worked every day. Everytime I consider going again I start to remember how it felt to have someone use an item I was purchasing as way to essentially invade my personal life, alongside the face that she wore as she finished ringing my items up; not a hint of disappointment, just anger and frustration. Like I had betrayed her. Feel like I dodged a bullet because if I had ever seen her when she was off work I would have asked her to go for coffee. Life is fuckin' funny sometimes.
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I'm sorry dude, I actually think that's a little worse. You essentially have a stranger who used your purchase to invade your life.
Yes, even though you kinda knew her, I have had so many of these kinds of encounters that I would always think they are trying to do the best customer service, I think, especially in that scenario, hints will not work.
At least, for me, I can talk to her when she cools down, and hopefully get my other coworker onside, who insists the signs where obvious.
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Eh, it is what it is. Like the other comment here suggested, I blame romance movies. Never needed the condoms on my date either, so that's good for a laugh I suppose.
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Well, I hope they still came in use!
Absolutely romance movies are the root of this shit.
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The new signal should just be being open and just tell the person you like how you fucking feel. This is why I hate tropes and romance movie garbage. It just makes people think if they stare at the person they like long enough, they'll totally "get the message" that they're into them! Also the other person has to do all the heavy lifting and make the first move, because thats how the 90's movies work! Everything is scripted and choreographed and totally realistic.
Going on a tangent, I am a frustrated enby.
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You're completely correct.
I said I'm going on a date next week, you know how? I fucking asked! What a novel concept, right?
We've been working together for so long, and at no point did she think, "these signals aren't working, maybe I should say something?"
I never thought about the connection to Hollywood, but the amount of sense that makes, is quite some.
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Don't shit where you eat
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Never said I was going to, I'm annoyed at a situation that has arisen due to someone not knowing how to convey a message.
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Yea I'm saying it's all good, banging a coworker is always a bad idea so no problems now
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Absolutely, I've only seen it successful once and even then it started with a breakup and reunion that disrupted everything in work.
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As a neurodivergent I feel this pain. Unless you straight up tell me you're flirting with me I will just take it as platonic friendliness.
In your specific case though, even if signals did work she should have taken a year of ignored signals as a "not interested" and not freaked out when you dated someone else.
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I’d rather assume friendliness than anything more than that. I thought that was just common sense tho
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