Source
r/OCPoetry•
ApprehensiveAd3282

I Pray

Poem

Help me now, God
Your angels are calling.

Help me now, God.
Your creations are cruel.

It was You who made them,
in the palm of your hand.
It was You who cast the devil
upon this sin infested land.

War, famine, rape and sickness;
hideous gifts you've so plentifully given.

Why pray for you to condemn
In something that you’ve willed?

Why grace you for the soil
that our flesh and rot has filled?

I Pray,
not to be welcomed at the gates of your kingdom.
Nor for You do I drink
The saviour’s red blood.

I Pray
not to You, for the souls you’ve given.
Nor for you
was I on my knees when they'd gone.

I Pray only to condemn
the life in me you’ve built.

I Pray
for my string
to be cut from the morning’s quilt.

I ask of Atropos
to cease the spinning of my
thread.
And of The Moirai so divine,
for my fate to be spun
dead.

So listen to my cries,
my God fearing worship.

Take me now, God
Your angels are falling.

Take me now, God
For your world is cruel.

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Posted Jun 14, 2022, 4:15 AM UTC · edited

913
TheCam1K•

Very beautiful

3
ApprehensiveAd3282OP•

thank you very much

2
whyamIonly5fttall•

I loved this, I enjoyed the emotion behind this. I very much like your historical references and intelligence behind the writing. I like that you can so easily portray both strong emotion and a full story along with a complete narrative. At first I was unsure of the rhythm, but with the passing and building of the story I didn’t even think about it. It’s sad and angry and I like it

3
ApprehensiveAd3282OP•

wow thank you so much for the amazing feedback! Formatting and grammar is a tricky one for me, It’s difficult to portray rythym so that others can hear it. I’m glad you enjoyed it and you got the angry part down right haha. Also glad you understand some of the references!

3
whyamIonly5fttall•

Some are above my knowledge I had to google some things but you used intriguing language so I had a compulsion to, so that’s a positive thing. I struggle with it myself it’s ok it’s extremely difficult to set it up to see how another’s eyes will receive it nonetheless I liked it 💖

2
reddituser312today•

I love this take on faith and really liked the way you examined the intersection between the evils of humanity and how that can exist with spirituality.

3
ApprehensiveAd3282OP•

thank you! Lots to be said about the topic.

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Whole_Performer2630•

I loved your take on faith and prayer It really gives a new perspective on how one prays and how most ppl pray for reasons far far different than the ones that actually matter in the real world. While your piece takes a direct approach to these reasons it also leaves one wondering about so much more

2
nelynel12•

You summarized my feeling of god so nicely. Very good. I love the repeat of “I pray” it definitely adds to the feeling of hopelessness this poem conveys.

2
ApprehensiveAd3282OP•

thank you so much!

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1
left-and-leavingg•

This is interesting, how the narrator, with all the reasons not to believe in a god, still clearly has faith in one. The narrator could have easily come to the conclusion there must not be a god, but doesn't.

1
ApprehensiveAd3282OP•

I don’t believe in the christian or any other faiths god.

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