Ever felt a thousand emotions at once?
It feels like you're hit by a bus
At first the impact then the fall
Then comes the pain and tears
Then nothing at all
Your mind betrays you
Makes you think you're dying
Then your body betrays
Makes your chest heavy
Till you can't breath anymore
And then the nothingness
Nothing matters
Nothing lasts
No one cares
Nowhere's safe
Just a vast emptiness
Posted Jun 15, 2022, 9:27 PM UTC
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I like how you start this poem by asking a rhetorical question and then continue to explain it clearly. And you even managed to have some rhymes in here, which I adore about poems (big rhyme lover)
I agree with @friedpaper „body betrays“ sums this whole poem up for me.
I like that there’s no happy ending. It shows the seriousness of this everlasting struggle they are going through. Beautiful written and portrayed.
Thank you for the positive response. It's my first time posting here. Much needed the validation.
I like the descriptions of mind and body effects, walking through the chaotic cycle of experiencing a panic attack.
The line "body betrays" with the passive voice resonates with the feeling of helplessness, of not being in control of your own mind/body