I’ve made no progress

I went three months no contact with my ex boyfriend. He messaged me the other day to say thank you for signing a witness statement in a lawsuit that he’s pursuing. We had some polite conversation and then discussed the breakup in detail for a few messages.

We went back to small talk. I broke and told him that I missed him, he left me on read - and I feel like I’m right back at square one again. I still feel exactly the same way about him as I did three months ago. I would take him back in a heartbeat, because I miss him immensely - it feels like a piece of me is gone. He was my moon and stars.

I just hate feeling so low and miserable all of the time. I hate having every small thing I do somehow link back to him, because then I just miss him all over again. I just want to be happy.