How did disgust/repulsion feel like for you?

This is a question for the betrayed partners. Especially the BPs who had the unfortunate experience of going through a period of revulsion towards their WS.

For context, mine was a PA of three months. My husband went through mind movies for months. Couldn't bear to look at me, or be around me for a long time. He wasn't comfortable with touching me because he felt my body was defiled.

We started reconciling six months after D-Day, and it's been more than 8 months since. I'm putting in the work and being present for him everyday. He says he no longer feels that same violent repulsion towards me that he did in the initial months. And I'm glad and happy beyond measure that he's able to touch me now and we are able to restart physical intimacy.

I feel we have done pretty well with most of the hard and vulnerable conversations around my infidelity. But he always avoids any question of his disgust/repulsion, how it feels, if it is still there to some extent. He doesn't want to talk about it, and I respect that.

Hence, I want to hear from people who have gone through something similar. Is it a constant feeling in the back of your head, or is it stronger at certain times or in certain situations? Does it affect your sexual life, or more importantly your sexual pleasure? Is there something you feel your wayward can do to make it easier for you?

And for those who have been in this for longer, did it ever completely go away for you?

I realise people are different and the answers I receive here may not be how my husband feels. I suppose I just really want to know, because he doesn't want to talk about it and I cannot get into his brain and feel how he feels, however much I want to.

Any answers will be appreciated :)