It's always the same 'ol bullshit

I'm thinking abot sliting my wrists when my family falls asleep, and leave a 'fuck you' note. I fuckig hate myself, it's always the same bullshit with me, I get endlessly irritated over the smallest thing and become suicidal. I'm fucking fat, miserable, tired, tired of myself and my haywired brain. 3/4 of my familiy suffers from mental disorder and they decide to procreate to create me, just so I can suffer thru this hellhole. I fucking hate myself! If guns where allowed in Iceland (or easilly accessible) i'd ahoot this bastard of a brain. its always fucking loud here at night comming from the tv and it irritates me. I have severe OCD (am medicatef)with that trichotillomania, everything needs to be sorted, Im also bipolar and been sufferring from depression but im fucking tired of this bullshit. Its cyclical and will happen again and ill have to go through this torture ... i just want it to end ... i think its better for when i get paid to build a exit bag ... thats all

PS if youve read my previous posts ive tried to commit suicide before ... im a fucking failure