Love him, but will he be a financially supportive and reliable partner in the future?

Sorry if this becomes a wall of text. There's a TL;DR at the bottom regardless. I, 18yr old female have been with my boyfriend 19 year old male for a few months over a year, and I really adore him. We both agree we couldn't find better partners that'd be suited to us than each other, and so often plan and discuss our long future together.

The only problem I can forsee could potentially be a big one though. I currently live with my grandparents, , and although I love them and love being with them, I don't want to burden them, and am keen to be independant and move out as soon as I'm financially capable, which will be in about a year or so, when I'm finished my current course for a certificate in childcare.

My boyfriend, however, even after expressing his need for one on several occasions takes no steps towards getting a job other than a few hours a week working for a family company. He does this kind of undecisive behaviour with most things I've come to realise, it's just never been somthing that could affect me so dramatically.

He often claims he is feeling depressed, that he's stuck in a rut, and can't get motivated, is going nowhere etc, even though I know if he got a job, he'd stick at it, and feel better about himself if he just had purpose in his life. He keeps telling me that I should just nag him to get a job... but I don't want him to do that, I want him to show me he can do things for himself and take initiative.

I don't really think this is solely his fault though. His mother has always been one of those over-protective parents who still tries to do everything for him, and now he just lacks the skill to do things for himself or make his own decisions, becuse everything has always been done, and decided for him and he was never taught to take intiative.

Anyway, the question I'm asking, is does anyone have previous experience with people such as this, will he get on his own two feet eventually? I will of course support him and encourage him, but I don't feel like it's my place to make him, and spend my whole life as a hen-picking wife. If anything, just some advice, on how to get him feeling happier, and feeling better about looking for work, and life in general would be appreciated! I really love him, and I want this to work out more than anything. Thanks guys.

Also for the record, it's not that he doesn't want to move out and he's just making exscuses, he really wants to be independant too, and moving out seems like a good idea to us both.

TL;DR: I really want to move out with my boyfriend so I can stop burdening my grandparents, but he lacks motivation to get a job, and isn't practiced in doing things for himself due to the over-protective parenting style of his mother. Do people in this predicament usually come around? Is there any advice you can give that'll help him feel better about himself and encouraged to get out of his depressive rut and start a career?

edit: Spelling

Posted Jun 24, 2012, 12:49 AM UTC · edited

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