I created this throwaway for other reasons. I stumbled upon one of my old throwaways on here

I didn't realize how bad it was before and how it started. And I feel so guilty for wanting to leave when I'm in a bit of a better place now. I missed a dose today. I'm lost right now.

I was so articulate back then, it's like someone else wrote it. I don't remember who I was before medication. I don't remember what it felt like to feel that way. Maybe I was sadder before but suicide has seemed like something I could actually do recently

I don't know who I am and I can't remember who I was.