Considering joining FLNG, but still very torn about the decision....Any comments, advice, opinions, etc?

My cousin/best friend joined the National Guard a couple of years ago. She went to Afghanistan and came back with PTSD issues, depression and anxiety. She still loves being in the Guard though and talks about it constantly. She claims it's one of the best decisions that she's ever made in her life.

This led to me considering joining myself. I talked it over with my parents and they encourage it as well. My regular job is not enough to pay my bills, not to mention my college fees. I need some financial help desperately.

That's not the only reason I've thought about joining, of course. I love the idea of becoming a soldier and fighting for a cause greater than myself.

There's also the matter of personal pride...I'm 22, female, and I'm small in size. I've been bullied most of my life. As a result, I have a lot of self-esteem issues. I have this fantasy of going through boot camp and coming out on top.....I mean, I know it will probably be one of the hardest things that I've ever done in my life, but if I get through it, it will have been worth the struggle. I will have stepped out of my comfort zone. I will proven to myself that I am a brave, strong, intelligent person that can commit to something and see it through.

On the other hand, I'm concerned that I won't make it through bootcamp. I'm also scared that if I do get through it, I will end up getting shipped overseas and being shot at and/or blown up.

I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone here has some advice for me? Do you think that these are good reasons to join, or that I should reconsider? Also, does anyone here regret joining the service, or do you think it was a great decision? I want your honest opinion, no sugar-coating.

Also, I wanted to thank you guys for your service. I look up to you for your courage and strength. I only hope that I can become half as admirable as you are.