I came here looking for someone that understands me

Hi im david, im 15, and i just cut 144 lines into my leg and the word love above them. It all started in middle school I wasnt a popular kid Im sure everyone hated me Girls walked by and said "ewwww" I fucking hate myself Bullies picked on me everyday Called me fag And fatty I cant think of a name that i wasnt called So i started rolling with a bad crowd I started smoking I carried blades I met a girl named christi She broke my heart But she was my first love And she cut all the time too And i was forced with watching her hurt herself and knowing i couldnt EVEN FUCKING HELP. So i started cutting I moved I stopped cuting for a whole year But then i met brooke She promised me so much But she broke my heart and here i am now Please help me reddit I dont wanna cut