Not a virgin, but sexually inexperienced? Advice?

Let me just start by saying that I think this subreddit is a great idea. I never would have posted what I'm about to post in r/sex, mainly out of fear of the responses I'd receive there. Hopefully you guys can help me out; I don't really know who else to talk to about this.

I'm 20 years old, and I guess you could say I'm sexually inexperienced. But it's a bit of an atypical situation. You see, I've done foreplay, etc. with partners in the past. I'm not a virgin. But I've also never had proper sex.

Let me explain (because it is possible): I (believe) I lost my virginity last year, in a drunken mistake. I know the hymen doesn't really tear or anything, but I definitely felt and heard something "pop," which I had always assumed to be my virginity lost. In that instance, the guy never finished (the instance lasted three minutes), and neither did I. Fast forward to this year. I'm in a serious relationship with a guy who had problems getting it up/keeping it up. It prevented us from rarely having PIV sex, and when we did, it usually lasted two seconds and no one ever orgasmed.

I'm in this weird state of mind right now where I don't know if I should consider myself a virgin or not. In the biological sense of the word, I think I'm not (but am not entirely sure), but since I've never really had full-on penetrative sex with orgasms (for either party!), I feel pretty inexperienced. I'm looking to start dating again at some point, and naturally, sex will come up. I don't know how to handle the topic. Do I lie about my experience, or risk rejection when my "secret" is discovered. Because I feel like, when actual sex presents itself, I'll have no idea what I'm doing. Plus, I hate knowing that whomever I'll want to date or hookup with will most likely be more experienced, and will probably judge me for my lack of prowess in the sack.

Another issue that quasi-relates to this is masturbation. I've come to the conclusion that, to be more experienced in bed, I need to masturbate. But there's a problem. I'm terrified of it. As a kid, I would touch myself and explore, but I never did it to the point of arousal. I've tried a few times recently, and I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm literally afraid of sticking my fingers in there. I don't know why -- I didn't have a very religious upbringing, or felt shamed in any way. Is there any way to get over this fear? Am I totally a weirdo for having it?

Tl;dr: Need advice dealing with my sexual inexperience and fear of masturbation. I like the idea of sex and would like to start having it in the near future, but am afraid I'll be rejected for my lack of experience.