Reddit help me in trying to forgive myself...

Hello everyone,

Five years ago I committed a sin, a horrible disgusting sin which I cannot even begin to discuss yet in reddit. This is serious and I am not yet comfortable discussing it but I really need some help and prayers (for any religious people on reddit). I am broken and am unsure rather I will ever begin to forgive myself for what I have done. I am only 24 years old yet I will be spending probably the rest of my life trying to forgive myself for what I have done. The hardest thing is the fact that if I were to tell someone what I have done such as a girlfriend for ex. I honestly believe they would never talk to me again. That is especially hard for me I wish I could tell people this dark secret that has shaped my adult life but doing so would probably ruin me. I would do anything to turn back time and change things but I can't so can anyone please give me advice about how to heal so I can at least accept myself despite my dark past.