[27/m] In friend zone with best friend [25/f] and want out

So this post is going to be long, but i have always believed that being over informed to make a decision is better than being under informed.

So last year i finished my 7 year career in the navy. i traveled back from japan where i was stationed and went back home to my mother. i spent some time with her and went to visit my father's side of the family. my uncle died the day i got there. i was feeling really down. it was also just before 4th of july.

my cousin who is very close to me in age knew i hadnt been around for years and i was feeling really down, so he invited me to a barbeque. while there, his phone started ringing but he was in the bathroom. i answered his, stating who i was and who they were intending to call. it was a girl. i didnt know her at all and my cousin hadnt talked about her. i spoke with her briefly, she was very nice, until my cousin got back. he took the phone from me and ran off. we didnt see him for a while and when he got back, he looked at me like i had just killed someone. i asked him what was up, and he wouldnt tell me. since i cared about him i asked again. he said to never pick up the phone again if it was her. i asked why, and he said some very lude things about her.

i am a very smart person and i have studied psychology quite a bit, so i can use that knowledge for evil if i want. i waited a bit, asked to check out his phone's music, and i took her number from it. i wanted to know why he would vilify someone who was so nice to me. i waited a bit long, and excused myself, saying i didnt feel well.

i called her and left a message. she text me back the next day. we text back and forth for several hours, and finally decided to meet. we met up for drinks. since i had no idea what she looked like and she didnt know me at all, we walked right past each other. we got along great. she did ask me about my cousin and what he said, and im an honest person most of the time, so i told her. it ended their relationship.

we decided to go to the beach together that night, so we went to her place, grabbed her stuff, and hit the road. we met up with some of her friends and had a great time. they all liked me a lot.

over the next few months we spent a lot of time together. we went out for drinks, went shopping, and back to the beach. i told her early on that i liked her, but she immediately put me in the friend zone.

i got a job across the country and moved away. i didnt talk to her for a month. we ended up reconnecting and it was like no time had passed. she told me about how crappy her job was and how she was going no where. i told her there were jobs out by me and i could help her get her life on track. she took me up on it and moved in with me.

things went great for a while, until i found out she was still talking to my cousin, trying to break his heart and being really vindictive towards him. she dragged me into it and had me lie to him. i didnt like the way she treated me and her alcohol problem. i ended up kicking her out. after about 3 weeks, i really missed having her around. i text her and we met up. we both poured our hearts out and i told her i wanted her back in my life. she moved back in the next day. she said she missed being home, and that my apartment was her home now.

things having been going great, but im still in the friend zone. i have been helping her with her drinking and she has been helping me to lose weight and get into shape.

she recently, and still is, went back to where she is from because her sisters were fighting and her mother is ill. i expected her to spend time with her mother and help sort things out with her sisters.

i know its a bit stalker, but if the information is on the internet, then it is open to anyone. her friend has been posting about how the two of them have been going out and partying. it was her birthday recently, but she has been going out a lot. she hasnt been texting me back much either. i know i shouldnt be clingy or anything, especially since we are supposed to be just friends.

i am really frustrated. the minute she got back to her hometown, she went right back to her old ways. going out all the time. dressing like a hooker. drinking like there is no tomorrow. i am beginning to think that my life would be better without her, but i still miss her too.

Do you guys and gals think there is anything in the future for me and her? she has stopped talking to my cousin completely. she was doing really well with her drinking, getting better by the week. she has started to lighten up too. she is starting to understand and like my sense of humor, she isnt getting upset when i cross the friendzone line with her, and she has become a bit more receptive towards physical contact between us.

should i let her come back and see where things lead or should i just cut all strings and call it a loss?

I forgot to mention, she is essentially refusing to friend me on facebook. I am fairly certain she is doing it so that either no one knows she and i are friends or that she is embarassed of having me as a friend. She was very concerned with my cousin not knowing that she and i knew each other, let alone were friends and living together. She talks to all her friends about the shit she and i have gone through, but she gets pissed if i try to confide in someone about whats going on in my head because of her. She told me that she had friend requests blocked on facebook, so i looked into it. The most restrcitive you can get with friend requests is to only allow requests from friends of friends. So i redacted my request, since it was sent before i friended her friend, and resent it, so that i would fall under friends of friends. She still never accepted it. I know she has been on facebook, because she has posted on our mutual friend's wall.