Semi GF is pregnant. She is giving me an out. Do I take it?

I'm 33 (m) been seeing a close friend of mine, 31 (f) physically for the last six months. We both work in the same field and are gainfully employed and are middle class (~$60k annually). I'm reasonably certain I am not going to marry at any point in time.... its not for me. I've had the pleasure of being apart of many awful relationships and entering into a committed relationship of any sort is not really something I see in my future.

My friend, Megan and I have known each other for three years. We ended up fooling around together around New Years time and it ended up morphing into us hanging out and hooking up two or three times a week since then. We aren't together and she isn't my girlfriend. I have not been faithful or exclusive to her. I don't know if Megan has seen other people and don't really want to know. Better off not knowing. For what its worth she is not the type of girl who sleeps around at all. She is on birth control and we stopped using condoms after about a month.

Last week Megan found out she is pregnant. Its like 6 weeks I think as of now so very, very early. I've been down this road before and the fetus was aborted in the past. That was a decision I was comfortable with and supported. If Megan wanted to go that route I would support her. Unfortunately its not the route she seems to want to take.

She told me a couple days after she found out. I did ask if it could be anyone else's and she promised me it was mine. I have no reason to doubt her. I told her I didn't want kids or a family or anything like that and if it was up to me an abortion was the best choice. She said she couldn't have an abortion... apparently an ex pressured her in the past and she has regretted it since. She wants the baby.

She said if I didn't want the baby she wouldn't blame me and offered me the choice of leaving now. She wouldn't try to get child support and wouldn't involve me in the baby's life. She wouldn't tell anyone that I was the father. But if I go now I have to leave her alone. I am sort of taking her at her word with this and she could come back and try to fuck me over by going after child support later. So it is putting trust in her. I don't think she would do anything that disingenuous.

The other choice is to of course be involved with the baby's life. If we stay (or get) together it remains to be seen but we would try our best to raise the child together. This would be time consuming and expensive and be a little dangerous. I have friends that are divorced who never get to see their kids and it destroys them. I don't want to get attached to a baby and then not get to be a parent. I would rather not even be involved than minimally involved.

I think I could be a good father but I don't know for sure. I've been involved with some youth mentoring type activities for the last six years and I think I am good with kids. Obviously a slight difference between newborns and 7 and 8 year olds so maybe its irrelevant.

Kids seem like such an incredible amount of work and I'm not sure if its worth it. I am being given the choice to leave and walk away with no real consequences. I'm not anti-children at all and have nothing against kids. For the longest time I did want to have kids but I've changed on that.

Should I take the out Megan is giving me?

Is having and raising a child worth it?

TL:DR My friend is pregnant with my baby and decided she wants to keep the baby. She is offering me the option to walkaway from the child now. Not sure if I should take it.

Posted Jun 24, 2012, 2:53 AM UTC

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