I used to self-harm and have scars; just got into a new relationship and not sure how to bring it up.

EDIT: Forgot to mention, we are both 19 and I am a girl.

Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, let me know if it is and I'll move it.

So anyway, about a year ago I was depressed and had some issues with myself. I was in a relationship where I just wasn't happy and I started cutting as a way to get attention from my (now) ex boyfriend. I thought the cuts were superficial but I was wrong. I now have scars on my wrists, and a LOT of scars on my right leg. That relationship ended with both of us attempting suicide and ending up in the hospital (it was a toxic situation).

Since then, I have gone to therapy, cut ties with the ex, and am now completely happy and content. There is 0% chance that I will ever cut again or attempt an overdose. Honestly, I was using those two things to get attention, and I realize how messed up that is now.

Okay, so the point is: about a month ago I started dating someone new. He is amazing, and adorable, and overall very "normal." (His personality is completely geeky/quirky, but what I mean is, I don't think he has ever felt depression or had severe drama/issues in his life). We are long-distance, and he has not seen my scars. I am also working on getting rid of them with fade creams and such but it has not completely worked...

My question is, how much should I tell my boyfriend, and when? How honest should I be about my past? I did tell him once that my ex and I broke up in a traumatic way, but didn't say details. I don't want to push him away or make him think he's "sticking his dick in crazy," because I would never do those things to myself again.

TL;DR: I cut my legs/wrists two or three times about a year ago for attention from my ex, and also overdosed on sleeping pills at the end of the relationship. I realize now (and for the past 8 or so months) that I was being crazy. Would never do anything again. Not sure how to deal with my baggage in my new relationship.

MILD UPDATE: Not that anyone is still looking at this (probably) but I just wanted to let y'all know I decided to wait awhile before telling him until I feel more comfortable about the whole thing. Thanks everyone for reading and responding. <3

Posted Jun 24, 2012, 3:15 AM UTC · edited

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