Bro Story

Our story begins at Work with me at the cash register, in the distance I see a man approaching and I cannot tell at first whether he was black or just incredibly tan. Upon closer inspection this man was obviously really tan. Looking him up and down I notice a few things about his appearance.

1. He obviously spends a great deal of time working out
2. He has buzzed hair, and a bit of stubble as if he purposely set his razor one setting too long.
3. He is dressed in plaid shorts, a t-shirt with the logo of a gym, sandals, a backwards baseball cap, and sunglasses (which he was wearing indoors)
4. He also was sporting a tribal armband tattoo This guy was obviously a bro, not knowing what to say I go for something simple and talking in my best bronacular "Dude, looks like you got some sun today"...apparently he took me for one of his own because he responded "Yeah dude, we were on the boat." I thought it a bit weird that he didn't say "my boat, my friend's boat, our boat, but instead (The) Boat" and then it occurs to me that since he thinks I'm a bro too, he is infact referencing what all of us non bros refer to as "The Broat" the nautical vessel of legend that is party Mecca to all bros. Then I begin to wonder, who is this man who has both knowledge of and access to the Broat but acts like it's no big deal. Then it hits me, I am speaking to no ordinary bro. This is in fact Brotan, King of Bros. It is said that he invented the high five during the first ever game of beer pong which he also invented. After ringing up his Keystone Light he shook my hand and departed, I looked at my hand, and vowed to wash it as soon as possible, for God knows where Brotan's hands had been that day.