why live when there's nothing to live for?

I try to carry on in my life, but I feel like its pointless. I do well in school, but i feel like it doesn't give me any meaning. what are we living for? I can't see it. It doesn't really make sense to me. Sometime I just sit it my room and wonder how good it would be to just end everything.

I guess my whole life I worked really hard to become a doctor, so I could help people. Got exceptional grades, got into a good school, and all that crap. I dont know, i just feel empty inside. on the outside i try to show that im happy, when im not. No one is like me, and the only person to understand me was my best friend and he committed suicide. He was exactly like me. Its as if im not meant to live. I'm more different than any person I've met. The pressures to do what others expect of me is too much.

I guess i'm just posting this so it'll be out there somewhere when i'm gone tomorrow. But if there are any of you who read this, thanks.

Its been real, its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.