Need a place to rant, probably just going to be a wall of text
I just need a place to spill my guts for a minute. Somewhere that I don't have to worry about what everyone else thinks about me, and this seems like as good a place as any. I'm young, 23, so I'm probably just being overly dramatic, but whatever.
I feel like I'm driving down a long, boring, decrepit dead end road. I graduated from college last year, but couldn't find work, so I went back to my old summer job, working for a family member's landscaping company. I'd worked there two previous summers, now I'm starting my second year full-time. I work at least 60 hours each week, six days a week, barely above minimum wage. By the time I get home, there's barely any time left to do work around the house, if I even have the energy left. I try my best to apply for jobs, but after I eat and shower, I'm ready for bed. Everyday is exhausting.
I don't see many other options. I need the money to pay for my student loan debts, and I save whatever I can. I don't have any professional connections in the business world, and that seems to be the best (it feels like only) way to get a job these days. I don't have any free time to volunteer my skills I have with my degree at any local non-profits like people are always telling me to do. I feel like I'm just going to be stuck in this dead-end job and have all this student loan debt forever, and I'll never amount to anything.
I'm taken advantage of every day at work. All the employees are, really. My boss, my cousin, treats us all like shit half the time and the other half like we're all his best friends. He tells us all he "can't do everything," but doesn't take the time to teach us how to do what he complains about. He is over two months behind on billing. I've asked and offered to learn multiple times, but nothing ever comes of it. For the past few summers, he's said, "I'd love to just keep you down at the store to run things, you know exactly what to do and how to do it." But, of course, he sends me out to do landscaping work instead, then complains when things around the store aren't done. He expects everyone to want to work from sunup til sundown Monday through Saturday. I barely ever get a Saturday off, maybe once every three months. If I ask for one off, he makes it seem like the world will stop turning. "Yeah, sure, whatever. I'll just spend my whole weekend at the store."
I can't take it anymore. I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I haven't even received a single interview for a job in my profession despite sending out resume after resume. I'm about to live the stereotyped life and just apply for a barista position at Starbucks because at least there is an opportunity for advancement there. I admit that I'm a little proud and don't want to take a door-to-door or phone sales position, but I'm ready for just about anything right now. This job is making me feel like shit. I lie in bed each and every night wondering what I can do to get out, and I see nothing.
I'm very tempted to just save a few thousand dollars, pick up and move across country. Start new. Start fresh. It just intimidates me. I don't know at all what I'm doing with my life and it fucking sucks. I don't even know what I'm writing anymore, it just keeps spilling out.
I don't know if anyone will actually read all this. Thank you if you do. I needed to get it off my chest for now at least. If you happen to have any advice, any at all, it would be greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do anymore about anything.
TL;DR Work sucks, feels like it's a dead end job, never did a TL;DR before and don't know what else to put
Posted Jun 24, 2012, 4:07 AM UTC