Am I wrong, Reddit? (Insert popular opinion about a popular thing). Also, (stuff that's been asked a million times) Details Inside.

Blah, blah, girlfriend blah, blah and cat I found in a dumpster that someone doused in gasoline and lit on fire during a Zombie Apocalypse that, turns out, Karmanaut and TIR started, those bastards! Any way, how do I save the cat? What can I do? WHAT CAN I DO!? Taking it to a veterinarian is just not possible, since the fucking thing never existed in the first place and some dick would say pics or it didn't happen. Just can't risk that.

Edit: I'm a virgin and I'm a girl with above average looks that works out 5 days a week and I'm on a very strict diet, too. Sorry, no pics because I like being anonymous :) I hope that helps in gaining me the nectar of you ignorant slobs. Unfortunately, I am also a giant whore that has a massive, sloppy vag. Here's a pic of my gaping vagina, but please do be gentle when discussing said gaping vagina. I'm totally not a dude that stole these pictures from my sister's camera, but even if I were, she's a stupid slut so she shouldn't care too much. And, if she cares that much, she can just hop on AskReddit and tell them about naked pictures of her that she posted herself mysteriously leaked Online and find out what all of you magnificent motherfuckers would do (fap, fap, fap, you know, for science).

But, that's not even my real problem, the real problem is that I just found out that my mom is a dumb-ass bitch and my Dad is a computer-hating Nazi while something (insert obvious lie here) happened and now I don't know what to do. Please Help!