I just don't know which way to turn anymore.

I have a job, I just started about a month ago. I have a 2 year old boy. I have him every other week. I have no car, and my work is about 20 miles away, so if I don't get a ride from my boyfriend, it takes 2 hours of busses and walking to get home.

My boss just told me he is opening a new restaurant and wants me to work there as well as the restaurant I'm already at.

I can't decide whether or not the extra money is worth the sacrifice of time with my son and boyfriend. But I need the money to pay for the car we NEED to get. I don't want my son to grow up and resent the fact that I didn't see him much because I was working 2 jobs.

I also could use the money to help us move into a bigger place, 3 people in a studio doesn't work to well. I want so much but I can't get what I want without sacrificing precious valuable time. I don't want to end up like my dead beat sister. I want to have a nice house, a reliable car and something I can fall back on in times of need, but it seems at the rate I'm going, I'm not going to reach my goal.

I have had a rough life, nothing has ever come easy to me. I just don't know what to do. I am in a constant battle with myself. Weighing options, trying to decide what is right, fearing I might make the wrong decision. I just want to be a good mom, and a good girlfriend.

I am scared to have blind faith, I am scared to fail. I can NOT lose the people I have in my life, but I can't live from paycheck to paycheck anymore.

I'm so lost right now.