Disassociation or unnecessary/invalid concepts falling apart? Perhaps disassociation is a kind of truth. A veil that falls away or something.

Hopefully I can do this justice but probably not. More and more I'm being struck with these weird moments where I'm suddenly just stumped. I'll be thinking about death, how we view it, all the possibilities and stories we've made up, whatever, or something else in general when, suddenly, I'll lose track and seem to realize that whatever the word is describing doesn't exist outside that frame. Like 'dog' for instance. The word dog is only used to identify a kind of 'animal.' An animal is an 'organism.' It gets more and more precise but it never really touches the essence. It's just a mental tool for communication which is obvious. The thing is, it seems like recently I'm trying to come across what I and everything actually is and it's obvious that I don't know. I get really anxious sometimes when I really look at how unidentifiable everything is. I don't know if the universe actually began at some point or if it will end. It really doesn't make sense that the universe would suddenly just appear which is weird. I'm slowly creeping upon accepting the possibility that the universe has existed indefinitely and will continue to. However, that's something my mind has a hard time with. "Never began? Won't end? What? Is that even possible?" Still sometimes I think about how, at night, we can see just nothing but blackness surrounding us. I think, "How can it possibly end but how can it possibly not?"

I lost my train of thought. Oh well, I'll leave it there.

EDIT: By "How can it possibly end but how can it possibly not?" I mean if you were to travel in a straight line out into space and on, would you ever come to a stop at some point barring that you didn't hit anything? Would you just keep going indefinitely or are there walls or an edge to the universe? It's really interesting to me because if there's some frame to it then we're actually somewhere within that frame but if not, we're always nowhere. If not, we would be a nothing that is nowhere indefinitely however the most prominent piece of that would be that we are the nothing that is.

This feels very shallow.

Thoughts?