Stupid stuff you do while playing alone

I went out this evening to finish a game that had been rained out this afternoon after the fifth hole. Hopped over to the sixth tee and just went from there. Nobody ahead of me on the course and after a day of rain and wind, the clouds were breaking and only a light breeze kept the humidity away.

Get around to the fifteenth hole and notice that there's someone ahead of me. I come around the dogleg and decide to wait for him to finish chipping and putting out. Light a cigarette and enjoy the view. Guy finishes and I try to put my smoke down on my bag. Gust of wind drops it into my bag in the putter slot. I try to stamp it out with my putter grip but I see smoke coming up. Frantically rip all my clubs out and toss them on the ground and manage to shake the smoke out. It's even still lit and good to go. Had a hell of a laugh after that one and made a nice 4i to within 25 ft at about 200 yds.

The next hole my first drive (scoring ball) goes a bit left and I tee another one up. Second ball is a major snap hook that hits a few trees and pops out at the very start of the fairway. Say fuck it, tee it up again on the fairway, and pull out the driver - hit a beauty of a drive from about 240-250 from the green. I go play my first ball and as I come up to the green, which is over a small crest and out of view from the fairway, I notice my first ball about eight feet from the cup. Made a bogie on my proper ball, but sunk the fairway driven ball for a 'birdie'.

I know there's lots of us here who like to go out and play solo, so let's hear any funny or stupid stores from playing alone.