I feel like I'm not a woman. I feel like...I don't even know. Help?

So apparently I'm not supposed to be comfortable in my plus-sized body and my never-ending quest for knowledge. I'm supposed to wear makeup more than twice a year. I should know how to walk in heels. I'm not supposed to have a faux-hawk (I'm too chickenshit for a real one) or have a high GPA and aspirations while being sexually active. I shouldn't be able to laugh things off rather than stew about them forever. What even am I? Thank you for letting me rant.